O | The Online Writing Workshop Newsletter, November 2000 W | sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com W | Become a better writer! | - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | - Sponsorship Update: now sponsored through January 6! - Workshop News: New review policy for more helpful reviews New navigation and How-to-Review FAQ Coming soon: new main page Reminders and tips - Editors' Choices for October submissions - Editorial Focus - Reviewer Honor Roll - Contest/Market Announcements - Publication Announcements - Workshop Statistics - Feedback: Poll on revision notification Tips for fellow members | - - SPONSORSHIP UPDATE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The Online Writing Workshop is currently sponsored by Del Rey Books, one of the leading publishers of SF/F. This sponsorship has been extended through January 6, 2001, so workshop membership will be completely free through that date. We will alert all members about 2 weeks before the end of the sponsorship, if no other sponsorship has been lined up, and instruct you all in how to continue as paying members if that's what you choose to do. Visit the Del Rey Books Web site for sample chapters of upcoming books, in-depth features, author interviews, special offers, and more: http://www.randomhouse.com/delrey Del Rey's featured title for November/December: REDEMPTION OF ALTHALUS by David & Leigh Eddings Mythmakers and world builders of the first order, David and Leigh Eddings spin tales that make imaginations soar. Readers have thrilled to THE BELGARIAD and THE MALLOREON, magic-filled masterworks chronicling the timeless conflict between good and evil. But with those sagas brought to their triumphant conclusions, fans were left hungry for more. Now at last the wait is over. With THE REDEMPTION OF ALTHALUS, the Eddingses have created their first-ever stand-alone fantasy. Boldly written and brilliantly imagined, this new novel is to be savored in the reading and returned to again and again for the wisdom, excitement, and humor that only the David and Leigh Eddings can provide. Find out more about the book and read an interview with David Eddings: http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=0345440773 | - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | NEW REVIEW POLICY FOR MORE HELPFUL REVIEWS After polling our members about what you found most useful in reviews, we've decided to require a text message as well as a set of numerical ratings in each review. This will emphasize to reviewers the importance of explaining their rating numbers and providing more detailed feedback to authors. This change goes into effect this week. Contentless reviews: New members often are at a bit of a loss as to how to review and critique submissions. The workshop's administrative staff is taking steps to contact members whose reviews are devoid of useful content and point them on their way to more useful reviewing techniques. Our new "How to Review" FAQ, available by clicking the "How to Review" button, will also be sent via e-mail to those members who need help. If you receive a "contentless" review, especially if the reviewer seems to have a habit of giving such reviews, let us know at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and we'll see what we can do. NEW NAVIGATION AND HOW-TO-REVIEW FAQ Earlier this month we redid the site's navigational buttons, putting the members-only items on the left and the informational items at the top. We also added our "How to Review" FAQ, put together with the help of some of you by Charlie Finlay. Thanks for your help! COMING SOON: NEW MAIN PAGE Before the end of the month we will unveil a new introductory page for the workshop--one that explains its benefits to potential members, including editors and agents, and is a little more zippy than our current intro. It will also include a list of top reviewers, updated daily, and some daily statistics. REMINDERS AND TIPS Updating submissions: If you want to replace a current submission with an edited version, don't delete and resubmit--that will cost you three review points. Instead, use the "Edit this submission" link that shows up when you view your own submission (no points necessary). Using the "append text" form: you need to submit your first chunk of text via the regular submission form before you follow the link to the "append text" form and submit the rest. Can't paste into our submission form? As far as we can tell, one out of a hundred members has this problem, which is caused by a bug in the particular browser version they're using (seems to be a version of Internet Explorer 5 on a PC). Let us know if you're having this problem, and until we figure out how to get around it we are happy to post your submissions for you. Contact us at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com. Formatting: Check the formatting of your submissions after you submit, and edit if necessary. If your submission has no paragraph breaks, it will likely have no reviewers! Tips on italicizing, boldfacing, paragraph and line breaks, etc. can be found in our Formatting Tips, which you can also get to from the submission form. Formatting Tips: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/formatting.shtml Author tip from Helena Szczepaniak: If you're (yore, yaw, your:-) not sure how a word is written or punctuated, you don't need a textbook or a style manual, all you need is just about _any_ professionally typeset book. If you flick through a few pages of just about any novel, you're bound to come across examples of the words/punctuation you're having difficulty with. Generally, no matter how crappy (or otherwise) the story may be, the typesetting will usually be correct, so you can simply copy what you see in the book. This applies to correct usage of apostrophes, colons, semi-colons, ellipses and just about anything else. | - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The Editor's Choices are the submissions from the previous month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of our Editorial Board. Each gets a composite review by the Board, which is published on the site and in the newsletter. We usually pick one fantasy chapter or partial chapter, one SF chapter or partial chapter, and one short story. (The volume of short stories is much less than that of chapters, so we're not going to pick a fantasy story and an SF story each month unless that imbalance changes. Mixed SF/F chapters will be considered under whichever category seems to predominate in the submission.) We also list two runners-up in each category the newsletter, with our comments. To view Editors' Choices on the workshop, go to the submission list and click on "Editors' Choices" in the Submission Selector. Six months of ECs will be archived there, with their editorial reviews. Our Editorial Board: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/editorialboard.shtml Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors and runners up! Editor's Choice, fantasy chapter/partial chapter: SUNDRAGON RISING by Marnie Goodbody We liked this a lot! The main character is Li, a small boy, and his POV is skillfully handled, while the writing overall is extremely strong. The action of the marketplace play, where the magician Jian Fei De goes in search of a peach of immortality, is nicely mirrored in the action of the chapter, where an empress has sent the "demon" Quian in search of an orchid. For the most part, the characters' dialogue is convincingly done, but occasionally Li's father Yuei Fa sounds like any 20th century middle-class parent who is displeased with his son--watch out for slips in style. Barry Hughart, winner of a World Fantasy Award for his novel BRIDGE OF BIRDS, might prove a very useful example. You might also want to describe the village in a little more detail--it was hard to picture how the houses, the market, and the stage were arranged, and a little disconcerting to realize that the houses were lifted up on stilts. Describe them! Occasionally, metaphors run into each other--"musicians frantic as demented spiders" and "actors explod[ing] onto stage like firecrackers" are both terrific, but next to each other, a little distracting. The tubercular cough of the musician, and the percussive storm the other musician conjures up to cover his cough, are fantastic details. So is the fact that Li is distracted from the artifice of the play by the boy actor's boots (even more than by his pockmarked face)--that's wonderful! You write that "a sunrise of interest came over [the] whole body" of the monk who stops to talk to Li; one editor thought this was a fabulous image, and another found it awkward. You could cut some of Li's internal thought processes in his discussion with the monk, so that, for example--"Li swallowed, tempted to lie. [cut to] 'I am... inauspicious,' he said at last." What isn't said is can be used to greater effect than cramming in too much detail. Otherwise, there are a few sentence fragments to clean up, and some of the dashes and semicolons should be replaced by commas. When Li thinks that the priest Hao Sifu is "taking my funeral!" "taking" didn't seem quite right. But on the whole, the writing was assured and lively. We did think that the title was not as interesting as the actual story being told, and one editor remarks that he has seen a lot of titles ending with the word "Rising." As a character, Li seems a bit more naive than one would expect in a boy so beaten down by life and his father--of course, over the course of the next few chapters, his life is about to change drastically. Editor's Choice, SF chapter/partial chapter: THE HORSES OF ACHILLES by Marguerite Reed We were pulled right into this chapter. From the very first sentence--"The second time I saw a Beast I was visiting Moira Ximenez, the wife of the Governor of New Albuquerque"--the author knows how to hook us. We want to know what a Beast was, what happened the first time the narrator saw one, and where in the universe exactly is New Albuquerque? As the chapter goes on, we get a lot more intriguing details and hints about this world, and the background of the narrator Vashti: possibly a few too many. For example, we aren't quite sure what a Tilden is, or what exactly an "American" (this is slang, right?) gene is. And what's the Second Wave? We trust that the author is intending to explain as she goes along, but it might be better to begin with less. Hook us with the big mysteries--too many small confusions tend to irritate readers. And yes, on the other hand, too much explanation of too many details is equally frustrating--it's an extremely hard balance to maintain in science fiction when you're building a new world from the ground up. But on the whole, we trust this writer's instincts. She has a gift for striking images: Moira, in purple veils from head to toe; the turbines marching "in staggered rows across the horizon, white as salt"; the client that Vashti thinks of as a "tall bank"; the skeggox, or "bearded axes." In a few places the writing trips over itself: "the nature's imitations built by themselves, perhaps, or by pertinent male relatives" is problematic--a metaphor crammed into duty as a noun. Also, all of the female characters that we meet in this chapter seem perfectly capable of helping a small child construct a glider--in fact, the only male in the story thus far is a Beast under lock and key. A detail: Selphanie's dialogue at first is vaguely Caribbean, and then flattens out. Don't let it flatten out completely! Later on, we get a little confused when another character, Hoffman, seems to waver between male and female--is this intentional, or just an early draft's confusion of pronouns? The description of the hunt for the skeggox is wonderfully vivid, and the transitions between skeggox, science, Emperor Penguins, and pregnancy were skillfully handled. So is the mixture of friendship and tension between Vashti, a Natch, and the other, Enhanced women: Vashti's distrust of the Beast seems particularly interesting in this context. Lastly, we like the small ways in which the author seems to be playing with the fairy tale imagery of Beauty and the Beast--who says fairy tales and science fiction don't mix? Editor's Choice, Short Story: THE BOOK OF LESSER WARDING by Daniel Goss We thought this story was a lot of fun. In fact, who can resist a story set in a city of thieves and magicians, where a recently overthrown Governor has been ruling in the Unspeakable Name of a Nameless King? There are nice echoes of both Tolkien and Fritz Leiber: one editor points out that "Vlana," a character mentioned in this story, is a character in Leiber's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser stories. Is this an intentional homage? Pendra Sinclurum is a wonderful character, both resourceful and clumsy. We were a bit surprised that she was so indiscreet with the Illusionist Maruk's name before an interested crowd--it seemed out of character, and a slightly awkward attempt by the author to set up a comic situation. There are a number of fantastic, evocative magical details: the Ring of Non, Quat the troll, the Avenue of Broken Nails, the spirits guarding Gorsh's door which the author describes as "the insects of the ether." We do have one suggestion for the writer--go back through the story, and consider the use of adjectives and especially adverbs. People say or do things "enigmatically, imperceptibly, reverently, skeptically, thoughtfully, abruptly, indulgently, indiscreetly, speculatively, raptly, cleverly, numbly, resentfully"--the list goes on and on, unendingly. Beware of adverbs! They clutter up your prose, and you don't need them--they tend to distract more than they describe. Try taking them all out, and see if you really lose anything of significance. When you describe the transformation of the Book of Lesser Warding--the sexiest book we've ever encountered, by the way--you say "He instantly became diminished and considerably more rectangular in nature." Instantly isn't necessary--"all at once" might work better (although "considerably more rectangular," in this case, is a wonderful understatement.) One editor responds in the affirmative to the author's query concerning the ability of this world to sustain a fuller storyline--"I'd add my opinion that the story as it now stands could only benefit from being included in a longer work." But even as a short story, we thought this had a lot of charm. Runner Up, fantasy: FEVER--SECTION I by Joshua Palmatier We had a particularly difficult time, this month, picking between our Editor's Choice in fantasy and the runners up. One editor said, "The three fantasy entries this time around were like apples and oranges (and pears, I suppose) and very difficult to compare to one another." This submission is almost entirely set-up, and yet nevertheless manages to be suspenseful--a page-turner. From the opening sentence--"On August 17, 1965, at the end of a long, hot summer, I killed Beverly Amanda Reeves"--we found the writing professional and the premise utterly compelling. We admire the way in which the author gives us a historical context, concisely, quickly, and vividly, snapping back and forth between the larger historic picture and the particulars of the narrator. Although nothing overtly fantastic or supernatural occurs in this first section, the ominous hints of the town history and the background of the assorted characters--Dr. Avery Mills, who is leaving Pittsburgh for the small town of Coudersport, the death of the boy in the tannery fire, the patient in Pittsburgh--all of this is extremely enticing. We did wonder if the description of the boy's death might be a bit too melodramatic. We also wondered if Dr. Mills would really admit to the town board that he had "personal reasons" for leaving Pittsburgh, and it seemed a slightly too convenient coincidence that a stranger, Harold Reeves, coming to Pittsburgh to recruit Dr. Mills, should have noticed so much about an incident regarding Dr. Mills and the patient Richard Angstrom (who will obviously prove to be significant to the back story). At this point, you may be giving away too much to the reader, too fast. There's a lot going on in this chapter already--don't let us (or the characters, for that matter) figure out the back story too quickly! Some of the details are wonderful--the name "Irwin" stitched onto the coverall of the man at the garage, for example. Others are confusing or even contradictory: the fields are parched and dry, but the air is "heavy with humidity." Keep the images of heat and stickiness constant--make us sweat while we're reading. Runner Up, fantasy: SWEET ALIESSE: CHAPTER ONE by Roger Eichorn Again, we have to mention that all three fantasy chapters were extremely strong--much like the ongoing Presidential election, this category was a tough one to call. This chapter begins very nicely--it's an excellent trick to open the chapter as the main character (Joban Lagarty) jumps off a cliff. Not only does this create a certain amount of suspense, but the author can then with great plausibility present the character's life story in small, vivid flashbacks. A small quibble: when we are told that "a swarm of butterflies rioted in his stomach" as Joban is jumping off the cliff, this seems a bit of an understatement. Butterflies in the stomach are the sort of thing you expect to have when you're about to give a speech; jumping off a cliff calls for something more dramatic. This world seems fairly familiar by fantasy standards--there are knights and goddesses and all the usual kind of thing. But the writing is strong and assured. The revelation that Aliesse is the fiancee of Duke Arnos is a nice surprise at the end, and Sir Demilio seems like an interesting character. It remains to be seen what the goddess Dionare (as well as Aliesse) sees in Joban, but obviously, he's a talented painter. Perhaps the stylistic repetition of "It is not your time" could be cut a bit. One editor was particularly interested in the mention of purple as the color of death--it's a nice detail, especially in a novel in which the main character is a painter. On the other hand, the author's style, every now and then, lapses into purple prose, as in the description of Aliesse: "like the ores of the earth that men labor to maintain." Of course, this is entirely a matter of taste--the prose that one reader might find purple, another reader might find voluptuous. Runner Up, science fiction: THAT WHICH IS HUMAN by Bruce Davis Despite the disclaimer at the beginning of this chapter, stating that it was "for true fans of the genre only," we thought that this submission was well written and not too bogged down in military or technical detail. We hope that the author will find our comments useful (although we might not be quite his intended audience). A small point first--occasionally, the third person narration needs to be cleaned up. When the author writes that "Finally he [Lt. Arkady "Ivan" Ivchenko] opened his eyes and looked up at the pilot," it's awkward. Ivan is looking at Mac--both Ivan and the reader are already on a first name basis with Mac. Using "the pilot" instead of a character's name is awkward (nobody thinks of a colleague/friend by their job description). Also, once we're told that Mac has a radio implant in his right mastoid, we don't need to be given its location over and over again--just say "the receiver." We also wondered where the female Marines, as well as the women fuel handlers, ordnance workers, etc, are hiding. It makes the premise seem a bit old-fashioned if all the characters (except for Linda, the girl back home) are male. Joe Haldeman, Orson Scott Card, Lois McMaster Bujold--even Robert Heinlein--have written some extremely interesting military SF that managed to fit in both genders. The tensions and complications that are introduced when men and women fight together make for interesting reading. Also, Mac and Ivan could use a few individual quirks of character--if we can see their relationship a bit more clearly, the crippling injury to Ivan and its effect on Mac will have more weight. The premise, that Marines are unhappily fighting human colonists when they would rather be going after the reptilian Rilz, is potentially stronger if we find out more about the colony and the civilians on Olympia. One place to conveniently insert more details is in the brief conversation between Mac and Ivan. It might give us more insight into their characters as well. Runner Up, science fiction: THE FURY by Arnold Schwartz We found this chapter reminiscent of the disaster movies/books of the '70s. One editor said, "The story moves at a brisk pace. That's good in terms of keeping the reader's attention, but not so good in terms of building interest in any of the characters." We wondered if it's really meant to be part of a screenplay rather than a novel. Sentences like "Jim, Patty, and other workers at the Hurricane Center crowded around the display" read more like stage directions than prose. In other places, the writing seemed forced. For example, "Beverly's body stiffened and her eyes opened so wide they seemed to scream but no sound came from her frozen throat. A hundred thoughts thundered in her brain and yet she recognized no single thought." It's hard to picture eyes screaming, and thoughts thundering through someone's head sounds a bit too much like a herd of cattle on the rampage. On the other hand, "Washington and Baltimore felt the intensity of Dolly as streets became covered in three feet of water" could use slightly punchier verbs, or else Dolly ends up sounding more like an interior decorator than an epic storm. Watch out for sentence fragments, accidental tense shifts, and cliched language--the description of Walter and Cynthia's house as not "much to look at, but it was a dream come true for the elderly couple" doesn't help us to see anything new or particular about this house, or this couple. The more you can do to make your characters individual and unique, the more we'll care when they're in danger. Also, one editor commented that constantly referring to new characters by their first names made them sound like schoolchildren. The opening of the chapter, all in dialogue, was awkward--keep in mind that a telephone conversation is a very static set piece: two characters, working together in Woods Hole, and discovering the size of the disaster about to strike the East Coast, might be more dramatic. On the other hand, the Reverend Callahan's sermon, complete with the parting of the Red Sea, Grand Canyon echo, and the superimposing of Michelangelo's Fall and Expulsion over Callahan's pupils, was a very vivid scene, with excellent near-futuristic details. Again, a little careful setup would help us realize right away that Callahan is not the director, and one editor points out that Callahan probably begins his biblical quotation with "Yea," not "Yeah." At the end of the chapter, the Adam Sequence is mentioned briefly--it's a bit startling to think that all this sound and fury might be, in the context of the novel, a piece of misdirection. Runner Up, short story: PROFIT AND LOSS by Alexander Gabriel We thought this story was an extremely ambitious, not entirely successful effort. This was neither straightforward science fiction, nor simplistic moral fable. It was reminiscent of the work of writers like Le Guin, Tiptree, James Patrick Kelly, and Damon Knight. In places, the writing is lovely, but elsewhere, it becomes awkward or inappropriate to the tone of the story: when Darrow is suffering the loss of his imaginary family, alone on his bunk, we learn that "He had lost significant amounts of weight and his hair had all fallen out." This is clunky, and a little too clinical. On the other hand, the last paragraph is evocative of loss in a way that genre fiction rarely manages: "Recently his dreams had begun turning odd. The family was no longer his own and he himself was taller and stronger. The planet too was foreign. A mass of impossibly tall trees and shifting colors. He pursued someone's children through a vast snowy landscape, children who when he touched them turned to light." This is beautiful writing! The author might want to cut back on adverbs, and replace some of the speech tags like "sighed, ventured, muttered, demanded, quoted" etc., with simple "he said" speech tags. The author skillfully details the tensions and contrasts--and similarities!--between the two men, and their yearning for family. The Editor's Choice Administrator would also like to note that two other October submissions by this author, "The Harvest" and "Lost Stars," were also interesting and imaginative stories. Runner Up, short story: CAPTAIN ATOMIC'S LAST CASE by Steve Hallberg It's odd but true that a woman named Buffy living in a retirement community is just as science fictional as a retired superhero who can shoot electricity out of his fingertips. We thought this was a very nice detail! Although the author doesn't specify the year, we assume the action of this story must be taking place around 2050 or later, and so we would like to see how the world has changed. The premise has a lot of potential and Woody, Captain Atomic (or as he thinks to himself, Captain Dumpling), has the potential to be an extremely engaging character. However, too much of the energy of the story is dissipated as it switches from the humorously poignant to Grand Guignol, to stale noir, ending with an unforgivable one-line pun for a punch line. Charley Wong and his relationship with Woody works well at first, but the banter gets a little tired as the story goes on. The axe-wielding lunatic Leon Bunt might have escaped straight from the pages of EC Comics. As for the villains, one editor says: "Tony, with his 'big-time pimp' past and 'ever-present gray fedora,' could have stepped from the same Forties-era noirish tale as the two stereotypical homosexuals with their diamond pinkie rings and damp handshakes. The author writes skillfully in many passages and this story has a lot going for it--which serves to make the things it has going against it all the more glaring. The author has to decide if he wants to write a comic and slightly poignant character study of a retired superhero; a Forties-style world-weary detective tale in which ex-pimps always wear gray fedoras and homosexuals are overdressed oddities; or a macabre shocker where a thirteen-year-old girl watches the decapitation of her naked grandmother and mother before meeting the same fate herself." | - - EDITORIAL FOCUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The monthly article on writing by our editorial administrator, author Kelly Link, will appear later in the month and will be available from our new main page. | - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | We list in each newsletter the names of people who have given useful, insightful reviews that have been appreciated by the authors. After all, that's what makes the workshop go, and we want to give great reviewers a little well-earned recognition from the workshop community. If you've received a review you really appreciated and would like to the reviewer to appear in the Reviewer Honor Roll, just e-mail the following information to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com: Name of the reviewer Title of the submission reviewed and author (your name) Any comments you have on why the review was so helpful This month's honor roll: Reviewer: Donnamarie Theil-Kline Submission: MERLIN'S CHILDREN, Prologue, by Michael McBroom Author's comments: "Insightful and helpful." Reviewer: Chris Clarke Submission: "There's a Succubus Born Every Minute" by Sarah Prineas Author's comments: "His comments were invaluable as I struggled to fix a rather clunky ending. He understood my style of writing and plotting well enough to know what would work with my story and what would not." Reviewer: Scott Anderson Submission: "There's a Succubus Born Every Minute" by Sarah Prineas Author's comments: "Like a fine-toothed comb, he helped to rid my story of nits." Reviewer: Daniel Goss Submission: "There's a Succubus Born Every Minute" by Sarah Prineas Author's comments: "'Vulture Boy' returned to pick at my story several times, insisting it could be made better. If it is, it's thanks to him." Reviewer: Lonnie Stanley Submission: various submissions by Arnold Schwartz Author's comments: "Lonnie Stanley has been of tremendous help to me. He has read every one of my postings (even the ones that I have revised heavily) and has made many suggestions for improvements that I have accepted." | - - CONTEST/MARKET ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The Long Fiction Contest (named for A. E. Coppard, one of the leading British writers of the 1920s, whose first story was rejected only because it was too long): the contest attracts writers from all over the world. Manuscript length: 8,000-14,000 words (30-50 pages double-spaced). Manuscript genre: Single story (may have multi parts or be a self-contained novel segment). Deadline: December 15, 2000 postmark. Winner announced by March 31, 2001; prize consists of $500 and 25 copies, plus 40 copies sent free to book publishers/agents, plus 10 press kits to news sources of choice. Entry fee: $15 US. Details: http://members.aol.com/wecspress/page4.htm "Wielding Words in the Web World" contest: Themestream will award $2500 to the winner and $500 to four runner-ups for essays about one of these topics: 1. Getting Published: Horror story or happy hour? 2. Traditional Publishing vs. Web Publishing: Grudge match or match made in heaven? 3. Online Writing and Beyond: Where does it go from here? Details: http://www.themestream.com/gspd_browse/contest/contest_writingdetails.gsp _Strange Horizons_, a new weekly online magazine devoted to "quality speculative fiction, poetry, artwork, and related nonfiction," pays professional rates. Author guidelines: http://www.strangehorizons.com | - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | Congratulations to our members who have recently made sales or garnered other honors of various sorts! Keri Arthur's novel DANCING WITH THE DEVIL will be published by Imajinn Books in 2001. Imajinn is a small press specializing in SF and paranormal romance novels. (Imagjinn: http://www.imajinnbooks.com/) Jennifer de Guzman's short story "Men Like Air" appeared in the Fall 2000 issue (#12) of _Dreams of Decadence_. (_Dreams of Decadence_: http://www.dnapublications.com/dreams/DoDCurr.htm) Amber van Dyk (Mek)'s short story "Seed" is in the Halloween issue of _Dark Muse_. (_Dark Muse_: http://www.darkmuse.com) Dave Kuzminski's novel BEASTS ARE US (which some members may recall reviewing on the original Del Rey workshop) was accepted by Hard Shell Word Factory and should appear in both print and electronic formats. CRYSTAL TREASURE was accepted by Silver Lake Publishing and should appear in print and possibly electronic format. MARK II was accepted for print publication by Ideomancer. Release dates are pending. (Hard Shell: http://www.hardshell.com ; Silver Lake: http://www.silverlakepublishing.com/ ; Ideomancer: http://ideomancer.com) Afifah Myra Muffaz's short story "Cherish" is forthcoming at Gothic.Net. This is an excerpt from her novel THE FLAWED PROPHETS. Afifah says, "I believe that the critiques I got for this chapter at DROWW helped a lot in its acceptance." (Gothic.Net: http://www.gothic.net) Meredith L. Patterson's short story "Principles and Parameters" will appear in THE CHILDREN OF CTHULHU anthology, published by Del Rey Books, forthcoming in 2001. (Del Rey: http://www.randomhouse.com/delrey/) | - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | Number of members as of 11/20: 1110 Number of submissions currently online: 600 Number of submissions in October: 273 Ratio of reviews/submissions in October: 3.77 Estimated average word count per review in October: 312 Number of submissions in November to date: 211 Ratio of reviews/submissions in November to date: 4.23 | - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | POLL: YOUR OPINION WANTED Once you've reviewed a submission, would you like to know when/if that submission is updated, so you can check out the new version and perhaps revise your review? Authors would clearly like this, but is this a feature most reviewers would use? We will possibly add this to our future-feature list if enough members think it's a useful feature. Let us know at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com. TIPS APPRECIATED Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments, for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and we'll do the rest. See you next month! The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction and Fantasy sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com | - - Copyright 2000 Online Writing Workshops, LLC - - - - - - - - -|
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