THE WORKSHOP NEWSLETTER

Below is our current monthly newsletter. To subscribe, go to our newsletter/lists area or directly to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/oww-sff-news-only.

O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF & F Newsletter, October 2002
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!

| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

- Workshop News:
  Under-reviewed submissions update
  Prizes!
  OWW T-shirts
  November writing challenge
  Novel market news
  Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for October submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics


| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

UNDER-REVIEWED SUBMISSIONS UPDATE

We want to thank everyone who helped us find a bug in the workshop's
new "Rescue this under-reviewed submission" feature.  Your reports
helped us track it down and fix it quickly.  If anyone completed one
of these reviews and didn't receive the bonus review point, just
e-mail support at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and we'll add
it to your total.

The bonus rotation includes all submissions more than three days old
with zero reviews, more than one week old with only one review, and
more than two weeks old with only two reviews.  Our goal is to see
every submission get at least three reviews within two weeks.

So far it's working! The number of under-reviewed submissions has
dropped from a daily average of 125 to only 88 in the space of a
month. These 88 represent 12.8% of all workshop submissions, and we'd
like to see it come down further.

Overall, reviews remain strong. The average of reviews-per-submissions
is 4.92, as high as it's ever been.  And the average length of reviews
this month is 597 words, compared to 400 words in October 2001.

If you have any other questions about this new feature or any other
concerns about reviews, e-mail support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com


PRIZES!

We're giving away two workshop prizes this month. Kyri Freeman is our
reviewer MVP this month for her many, many useful reviews, and Melinda
Kimberly wins a copy of WRITERS OF THE FUTURE, VOL. XVIII, signed by
workshop alum Dylan Krider, as the mailing-list good citizen award for
trying to cool down some hot tempers on the list with humor and a
lesson from Miss Manners. Dylan's Grand Prize story, "Eating,
Drinking, Walking," was a workshop Editor's Choice winner in June
1999. More information on Dylan can be found at:
http://www.dylanottokrider.com


OWW T-SHIRTS

We have a few unclaimed T-shirts left that people ordered but never
paid for. The following colors and sizes are available on a
first-come, first-serve basis:

M white, M gray, L gray (2), XXL gray (2)

You can see the T-shirt modeled at Worldcon by the workshop's own
Charlie here
(http://www.digitalphotosystem.com/Tales/BannerPage9.htm). Just follow
the WORLDCON PICTURES! link.  (Thanks to Jaime Voss for taking the
picture and Mike Blumer for posting it at the Serendip!)

The cost is $16.50 per shirt including postage, and we'll accept
checks or Paypal. E-mail support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com with
your order or with any questions.


NOVEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE

The mailing list's November Writing Challenge is called "Breaking
Barbie: Destroying the Archetypical Story."  The only requirements are
an archetypical character (perky blonde cheerleader, farmboy-aka-king,
etc) and an archetypical characteristic (time travel, spaceships, lost
kings, etc.) Write your fantasy, and put it on a spaceship. Write your
SF in medieval times. This can be anything from pulp to literature.
Just make your story break out of those archetypical molds.

Workshop challenge stories have resulted in sales for more than a few
members (there are at least two in this month's "Sales & Publications"
section) so join in and have fun. For more information on the
challenges present and past, visit
(http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html).


NOVEL MARKET NEWS: ROMANCE HYBRIDS

Anna Genoese, an acquiring editor at Tor Books, spoke to members of
the Romance Writers Association about paranormal/sf/fantasy romances.

She said she's looking for unique and original dark fantasy/sf, erotic
fantasy/sf, paranormal/sf/speculative romance/"chick lit". Romantic
paranormal mystery/suspense is fine (i.e., J.D. Robb/Nora Roberts,
Linda Howard), but she doesn't want straight romantic
mystery/suspense. Romantic historical fantasy (i.e., Juliet Marillier,
Jacqueline Carey, Delia Sherman) is acceptable, but no straight
romantic historicals.

Ms. Genoese tells writers: "The romance cannot be an afterthought--but
neither can the plot! The romance should comprise 50% or less of the
main story. I am open to non-traditional romances
(multi-racial/ethnic, multi-spiritual, homosexual, etc.) as well as
traditional ones."

She was very specific about the submissions she wants to see: a 1-2
page synopsis with the first 3 chapters or 60 pages of your work. No
simultaneous submissions, no query letters. All submissions must be
mailed to:

Anna Genoese Tom Doherty Associates
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010  USA

Tor is part of Tom Doherty Associates, which also publishes under the
Forge imprint.


MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION

How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi
(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a
fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks
and some post offices).  If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).

Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not.  We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member.  Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.

Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 77 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them.  So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth a dollar a week to you? Award us a
$12 bonus along with your membership fee. 25% of any bonus payments we
receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip for good
personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen the
shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!

For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
About our company: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons: 
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml


| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors.  One submission in each of three categories--SF,
F, and short stories--is given a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.

Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Kelly Link and Nalo Hopkinson, or occasionally other
writing pros.  Close contenders for EC will be listed here as
runners-up but usually won't get a review.

The last four months of Editors' Choices and their editorial reviews
are archived on the workshop.  To view them,  go to the "Read, Rate,
Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices" in the Submission
Selector.

Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!


Runner Up, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
BOOK OF 2D CHANCES, Ch. 2 by Mike Blumer


Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
AFTER EPSILON (1 & 2) by Jean Seok

A good opening chapter with surprising details like the live
salamander with the thread around its tail and the way it becomes a
pendant later on. There's lots of action and it held my interest.  I
wasn't able to predict at any moment where things might go.

The opening line--"They kidnapped me at sunrise."--throws us right
into the action, sets the stakes high, and immediately makes us wonder
what's going on.  That's a first line that hooks the reader.  One
wants to know a little bit more about how that kidnapping was
accomplished, though; did the protagonist try to scream, to struggle? 
Did her captors immobilize her in some way once she was in the van? 
If not, why was one of the two of them averting his eyes, leaving an
older man as the only one paying attention to what the protagonist
did?

About the salamander, you say, "There was a loop at the end of its
tail, and a silver thread coiled tightly against it."  Do you mean
that the thread was coiled *around* its tail? "Against" is confusing. 
And was it a real salamander?  I managed to figure that out later, but
it's something we should know in the moment.  As a reader I expect
some reaction from both the protagonist and the salamander.  How do
her captors know that she'd be okay taking a strange live animal into
her hand like that?  And even if she is, I'd expect her to register
how it felt in her hand, and I'd expect it to maybe move a little, or
scrabble a bit with its toes for purchase on her hand (or, a little
bit later on, her neck); something to tell us that these are two live
beings interacting with each other.

You say, "Something about the coercion angered as much as frightened
me, but I took the gesture as an opportunity.  I knelt forward."  What
gesture?  And when did she kneel on the ground?  Or do you mean, "I
leant forward"?

"Tears started to collect in my eyes, but I blinked them away angrily.
I would not be raped or killed just because I had been stupid."  I
don't understand this.  For all she knows, she may very well be raped
or killed, yet how has she been stupid?

Nice twist, that the people who have kidnapped her don't know what
roles they will play in the ritual in which they will all take part. 
In one way, they are as powerless as she.

Good sensory detail here: "I stumbled out of the van into a dark
tunnel that smelled of urine, rust, and small dead things."  I like
the distinction between the smell of small dead things and that of
large dead things.  I could smell this tunnel.

Why is she startled into screaming when Tau says, "Remember to
breathe"? She knows he's there, and in fact she's just been talking to
him.

A lot of the description feels sketchy--where people's bodies are in
relation to each other, what things feel like.  In particular, the
battle that Tau has in the dark with his invisible attacker had almost
no sensory impact.  Yet you would expect that the protagonist would be
hearing blows, perhaps feeling the impact of them through Tau's body,
and would be hearing intakes of breath, smelling blood and/or the
creature, sensing movement.

Later on, the protagonist wakes with her hands bandaged.  She needs
help to drink and to get dressed, so how does she manage to undo the
clasp on the necklace she's wearing without help?

Generally, an intriguing opening chapter.  I was drawn in immediately,
and I was curious about why the characters were named for letters of
the Greek alphabet.  Yet the excerpt feels in need of a rewrite that
pays attention to detail and removes some of the contradictions in the
text. If a rewrite fixed the sketchiness and the contradictions, I
would read on.  

--Nalo Hopkinson
http://www.sff.net/people/nalo/
Short story collection SKIN FOLK now available from Warner Books


Runner Up, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
BOYHOUSE, Chapter One by Olivia Fowler


Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
DEAD LINKS, Chapter One by Jennifer de Guzman

A lovely, almost languid opening chapter, for all that it contains a
mother kicking her daughter out of the house, a knife attack, and a
spectral apparition.  The language is beautiful, and I found the
images and character development intriguing.  I liked the way that you
worked the rituals of Orisha into a futuristic setting (perhaps only
because that gives it aspects of my first novel, but I also think that
you're doing quite a good job of it).  I think that the jumping about
in time is working so far.

However, that same languidness may be working against you a little.
There's a lot of action here, yet we experience it mostly through the
filter of lengthy ruminations by the protagonist and Victor.  They are
interesting ruminations, but I think a bit more dialogue would be in
your favor.  And if you make a futuristic setting, you need to use it
a bit--imagine it more strongly.  Your 2049 New Orleans feels like
2003 New Orleans.  There will be small but significant shifts in some
of America's technologies in 46 years, and people will have made
adaptations to them.  (I'm 41 years old.  In my twenties, there were
no such things as VCRs and consumer videotape recordings. Twenty years
later, there are, and the way that I watch movies and television has
changed as a result.)  How might your characters' lives be subtly
different from ours?  How might you use those differences in your
novel?  In other words, what are the reasons why you've set it in the
future?  Figure out what those are and make sure that you write to
them, or else consider setting the novel in the present.

Specific comments:

"...a slow oozing trickle of blood from the gash on her forehead drawn
out by the warmth of the train."  This reads as though it's the gash
that's been "drawn out by the warmth of the train," not the blood.  I
suggest you change the order of the phrases, so that it reads, "a slow
oozing trickle of blood drawn out from the gash on her forehead by the
warmth of the train."

"...when it arrived at its destination in eight hours, it would only
be five hours past the time when it [HAD] left New York."

"She smoothed Aja's hair off of her forehead." Delete the word "of." 
It's a colloquial usage, grammatically incorrect in narrative (it
would be okay in dialogue if it matched the speaker's dialect).

"He smiled warily and held a glass a quarter full of amber-clear
liquid. Aja held it in her hand as if it would burst into flames and
speak to her."  I would say, "Aja held *the photo* in her hand," else
it sounds as though Aja held the glass that the image of her father is
holding in the photo. Re-read the two sentences the way that you've
written them.  Do you see what I mean?

POV shift here: "Simon Goldman had been obsessed with that knowledge."
We're in Aja's head, and as far as we know, her mother has told her
nothing about her father Simon yet.  How then does Aja know about
Simon's obsessions?

"Aja kept her eyes war[IL]y on the shadows."  You need the
adverb--warily -- not the adjective "wary."

Lovely dream image, which probably works all the better for being
brief: "In her sleep she was inside and outside of the train--inside,
tiny and curled up like a fetus; outside, so big that her hand could
push the train forward like a child's toy."

Gorgeous writing in the following paragraph: "Calixa had dark eyes,
dark like doldrums ... And she wouldn't have known her father then,
either."  Not only is the language lovely, the content neatly places
Aja and Calixa's racial makeup into an historical context.  You're
giving texture and a sense of time and social realities to your
world-building.  Excellent.

I enjoyed Aja's fanciful image of her mother pulling her father's body
out of the cedar chest, but I didn't know what a "twice-turned prom
dress" was.

I loved the contrast between possession by the loas and Simon, who was
"possessed merely by jealousy."  Yet I finished that paragraph still
unsure what it was that was obsessing Simon so.

I completely lost sympathy when Aja said, ""Screw your health
benefits! You're my best friend. I'd do anything for you. Please do
this for me."" Maybe it's because I know the horrible dilemma of
having health problems with no way to pay for them, but Aja's being
extremely selfish by asking her friend to jeopardize his well-being
that way.  Especially since you've already told us that not too long
after pulling Victor out of his job, Aja will simply abandon him. 
Protagonists don't have to be good people--I'm very fond of saying
that Hannibal Lecter is a great example of an absorbing protagonist
who's nevertheless thoroughly evil--but do you want us to think of Aja
as being this self-absorbed and unconcerned for her friend?  If you
do, then have at.

This made me chuckle: "... the traces of nutmeg, still lingering after
the baking accident that winter."  Nice detail.

I'm not sure that the swift POV changes between Victor and Aja are
working. I liked the first one, where we popped out of her head as she
stood at his door into his head as he saw her standing there, but the
second and third ones (where she's walking away to go and visit Marie
Laveau, and near the end of the excerpt) were only distracting. Though
I did wonder if you were working on some extended metaphor for the
Loas manifesting by popping into the heads of their worshippers for a
while.  Still, I think it's more distracting than anything else. 
(Except that first one.  It's striking, and I'd keep it.)

You say that Aja finds Marie Laveau's tomb "less painful to visit"
than Victor's apartment, because the tomb had been there so long and
would continue to be there a long time.  I don't understand why that
makes it a less painful place to visit.

"... more than two century's supply" should be "more than two
centuries' supply."  "Centuries" needs to be in the plural, since
you're talking about more than two of them, and it takes the plural
possessive.

"Voodoun" is not a spelling I've seen before, so I'm querying it.  Do
you know it to be a correct spelling?  I've seen "Vodou," "Vodun,"
"Voodoo" and "Voudun," but never "Voodoun."  You yourself spell it
"Voodoo" a few lines further down.

You say, "two teenage boys."  Properly, the word is "teenaged."

When Victor is attacked by the two boys, you have Aja witness a couple
of their actions and hear a full sentence that one of the boys says
while she's running and endeavoring to skid to a halt.  That doesn't
ring true.  It's difficult to hear while you're running, and the
effort of coming to a halt takes place in too brief a time to
simultaneously watch someone rifle through a bag, watch someone else
with a knife at your friend's throat, and hear a full sentence that
one of the attackers says.

At first you tell us that there are two teenaged boys, but then there
seem to be more than that; one at Victor's throat, and others
rummaging through his bag.  And even later on, you say that there are
three boys.

Should be "who" here, not "whom": "Before Aja could question whom
Marie was speaking of..."

I'm not sure where you're going at the end with the image of Victor as
Adam stepping on the Serpent's head, but I'm willing to wait to see
how it plays out.

Generally, this is a strong beginning, though it languishes a bit. I
would certainly read on, hoping that you can get your character a
little more out of her head and interacting with her world.

--Nalo Hopkinson
http://www.sff.net/people/nalo/
Short story collection SKIN FOLK now available from Warner Books


Runner Up, Short Story:  
"Curiosity" by Kevin Jones

This was an eerie and wonderfully surprising story, part Stephen King
and part Jonathan Carroll.

The writing, however, is clunky in many places, and the rhythm of much
of the dialogue feels off. "Ring then." isn't as natural-sounding as
saying "Then ring the bell, Lindsey." A sentence like "The objects of
Mrs. Painter's collection were varied but themed nonetheless; it had
to be colorful and happy" is ungrammatical, and also longer and
vaguer than it needs to be. You can just say "Mrs. Painter collected
happy, colorful things." Try reading this story out loud, and simplify
the language as much as possible. Plain, clear writing suits spooky
stories best--don't over-describe Mrs. Painter, or the outside of the
house. You want to get the reader inside as quickly as possible.
Choose your telling details carefully.

You need to give us a little more information about Becka and Lindsey.
How is it that Becka knows about Mrs. Painter and Lindsey doesn't? How
old are the sisters? At first they seemed like middle-school children.
Keep in Becka's point of view, and tell us that she thinks Lindsey
looks older, but maybe not wiser. What kind of relationship do they
have? Close? Competitive? Does Becka have a husband or a lover? When
Lindsey asks for Mrs. Painter to hurt Robert, we need to know what her
face looks like, how she sounds. "She was crying" is stronger writing
than "...and another tear escaped."

The contrast between Mrs. Painter's collection of happy objects and
her paintings is wonderful. The real heart of the story is the
contrast of Becka's examination of the gifts, which somehow look more
real because of how they have been placed (the dancing, lying-down dog
is a fabulous detail), and the woebegone, misplaced, unreal people in
the crowded ship; the monkey clinging to the edge of the frame.

The last line of the story feels too tidy, too forced. Perhaps you
could merely have Becka note that every time she leaves Mrs. Painter's
house, the outside world seems not only dingier, but also somehow less
real and more like a painting. You could even describe the same sort
of overcast clouds that hung over the sky in the painting.

After you've rewritten this, try sending it to Paula Guran at _Horror
Garage_, or to _Talebones_. Happy Halloween, and thanks for the
goosebumps!

--Kelly Link
http://www.kellylink.net/
Short story collection STRANGER THINGS HAPPEN available from 
Small Beer Press


Editor's Choice, Short Story: 
"Synth and Natural" by Nora Fleischer

This is an engaging, romantic, and rather breathlessly told
old-fashioned space opera. We're sucked into the story from the
opening paragraph, and whenever we might balk at all the sorts of
things that we've seen before, we have Simon to make them new for us
all over again. He's a fabulous viewpoint character, and it might be
interesting to keep more of the story in his point of view.

Dialogue throughout is natural and believable, and writing is
extremely comfortable. This is Lois McMaster Bujold territory: warm,
funny, and full of good, small details, when the author gives herself
enough breathing space.

Like Simon, Ana is also a strong character. Unfortunately, everyone
else gets short shrift--we have not only a murderer, but villains
galore, all of whom seem to shuffle onto the page, say whatever is
necessary to propel the plot a few inches further, and then obligingly
shut up. The farther into the story we get, the more improbable it all
seems, so slow down the action, give your characters some breathing
room, and let them act like real people and not story widgets. When we
first meet Ian, like Ana, he's grieving over the death of Jim. We find
out that he's a friend of Joanne (who, by the way, is not necessary in
any way to the story), only she doesn't ask about him when she visits.
When we do see him again, it turns out he's a murderer! And yet Ana
never seems to care very much, either to grieve again for Jim, or to
even notice that her other coworker is a murderer--she's too busy
falling in love with Simon.  From this point on, everything feels
slapdash. Why should we care about Ana as a person, or believe that
her love for Simon matters very much, if she has so little feeling for
Jim or Ian? We don't even get any emotional reaction from her when
Simon discovers the dichronium, and yet she's been terribly worried
about keeping it from him.

Again, when the Earl of Buell shows up, there are lots of problems,
not all of them caused by hasty pacing. Why would the number-one man
in the Empire have showed up, and why has he showed up without
regiments of guards? Doesn't he have better things to do? It's as if
Bush (okay, Cheney) flew into Alaska all by himself to find out what a
small outpost of geologists and biologists were trying to conceal
(oil! Lots of it!). Lord Ware, Lord Markham, and Ian are also
apparently standing around waiting for Ana and Simon to show up. Too
many villains, too much intrigue, too many lords--can't we settle for
one? And one too many showdowns as well. Fit the love scene in
somewhere else, and just give us one confrontation with the evil
empire.

The hand-held device which short-circuits Simon's brain is over the
top. So is the slapstick standoff with Winky--not every gun on the
mantelpiece has to go off. Really. The annoying voice in Simon's head
is enough: you can play with it during the conversation that he, Ana,
Ian, and evil composite lord have about the dichronium and the fate of
the planet. And you might consider making the dichronium something
that it turns out the Empire doesn't want to use, or for others to
know about, because it would weaken a monopoly, or the position of an
Empire cartel. That would be a nice twist.

You're also going to have to rehabilitate Ian in some way--maybe Jim
attacked him first and it was self defense--or else tie up that story
line in some other satisfying manner. But first I would integrate him
into the plot, and give him and Simon a relationship as well.

There are lots of wonderful details in this story, such as the
repeated crack about how the empire can always make another synth, and
the way that everything is brand new to Simon. The story of what
probably happened to Michele the synth seems both real and poignant.
But you do need to show us how beautiful this planet is, not just to
Simon, to whom everything is beautiful, even his own blood, but also
to Ana, who sees it with wiser, more experienced eyes.

Does this need to be a novel? No. Just a longer short story. (Maybe a
longer short story with a better name.) But this may turn out to be a
universe with a lot more stories in it, and I'd like to see them
published somewhere like _F & SF_.

--Kelly Link
http://www.kellylink.net/
Short story collection STRANGER THINGS HAPPEN available from 
Small Beer Press



| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews.  After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!  (Some months we also award a prize to a
special reviewer.)

If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, just use our online honor-roll nomination
form--log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor Roll
page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.  Your
nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar month.

This month's Reviewer MVP is Kyri Freeman, who will receive a copy of
THE LADY OF THE SORROWS, Book 2 of _The Bitterbynde_ trilogy, by
workshop alum Cecilia Dart-Thornton. Kyri has managed to acquire more
than 600 review points without ever winning a reviewer prize and we
wanted to correct that oversight. Many thanks to Kyri for all her
reviews! You can read all about Cecilia's writing at:
http://www.dartthornton.com

The Honor Roll will show all October nominations beginning November 1. Some
advance highlights from the October honor roll:

Reviewer:  Brian Otridge
Submission: TALE OF A MISSING BOOK by Andre Oosterman
Submitted by: Andre Oosterman
Nominator's Comments: Brian had commented on all six chapters of the
20,000-word story with great speed, dedication and integrity. He has
given me a carload of nits to process, but, more importantly, has also
convincingly pointed out a few major inconsistencies. Without him, the
story would not be (and would not become) as good. Yes, I am
grateful.

Reviewer:  Sarah Prineas
Submission:  "Decent Guy" (contains Adult themes) by  Ben Searle
Submitted by: Ben Searle
Nominator's Comments: Sarah took examined this story with great care,
and so provided an extremely valuable crit. She showed me where the
writing could be tighter, and where things could be explained more
clearly. She noted (before she finished reading the story) how she was
expecting it to end, which give me insight into the impressions the
story was creating. Greatly appreciated, Sarah.

All nominations received in September can be still found through
October 31 at: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml


| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.

Features:

The latest episode of _MarsDust Online_ (http://www.marsdust.20m.com)
includes Steve Nagy's interview with Cecilia Dart-Thornton and
excerpts from all three of her _Bitterbynde_ books, including an
exclusive early look at THE BATTLE OF EVERNIGHT.

Awards:

Eugene Woodbury's novel PATH OF DREAMS won Honorable Mention (third
place) in the 44th Annual Utah Original Writing Competition, Novel
category. For more about the prize, see:
http://arts.utah.gov/literature/winners.html

Sales and Publications:

Nigel Atkinson's delightfully titled novella "A Mouse in the Walls of
the Lesser Redoubt" has been sold to the NIGHT LANDS anthology, coming
from Wildside Press (http://www.wildsidepress.com) in early 2003.

John Borneman sold short story "Eggs Benedict" to _Fortean Bureau_
(http://www.forteanbureau.com/) for an upcoming issue, possibly
December 2002. John told us that "passes on a sincere thanks to all
his reviewers." Your newsletter editor hesitates to note that "passes
on" can also mean "dies" or "omits."

Chris Clarke sold reprint rights for two short-shorts, "Love Lines
Circle" and "Notes for the Gallery," to _Story House_
(http://www.storyhouse.com). Both stories originally appeared in
_Vestal Review_ (http://www.vestalreview.net).  Chris advises: "Look
for those reprint markets, I say. And if you have hard to place
short-shorts (under 1000 words) try Story House--they were prompt and
professional, and judging by what they bought from Amber and myself,
open to pieces that are a little off the mainstream." (Caveat
scriptor: Story House publishes on coffee cans!)

Jennifer De Guzman's story "Counterpoint" appears at _Strange
Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com) on Monday, October 21.  Jen
told the mailing list, "It's about Mozart, and was rejected _twelve_
(or was it thirteen?) times before SH accepted it."  Another good
argument for persistence.

Kyri Freeman's sold her short story "The Path" to _Ideomancer_
(http://www.ideomancer.com).  She promises to tell us more about it
when it appears in early 2003.

Pam McNew sold reprint rights to her short story "A Daughter, Lost" to
Britian's Folen Publishers for their textbook, MODELS FOR WRITING -
ESSENTIAL FICTION. The story started was written as a workshop
challenge piece and originally appeared in _Chiaroscuro_
(http://www.chizine.com).

Sharon Partington's short story "Haven" will appear in the Nov./Dec.
issue of long-running webzine _Demensions_
(http://www.demensionszine.com) on Nov. 3. Sharon tells us, "Special
thanks have to go to Don Harris and Laura Waesche for helping smooth
out some of the rough spots.  Their input made it a much better
story."

Mikal Trimm continues his world conquest with a poem and a short
story, "Emma," sold to new Canadian magazine _NFG_ (http://nfg.ca). 
His short story "Cable and the Possible God" appears in the third
issue of Australia's _Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine_
(http://www.andromedaspaceways.com).

Amber van Dyk's short story "Knotwork" will appear pseudonymously in
_Clean Sheets_ (http://www.cleansheets.com). Like many other workshop
sales, this one started out as a challenge piece!


| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Number of members as of 10/20: 616 paying, 91 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 684
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 74%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 1.1%

Number of submissions in September: 514
Number of reviews in September: 2307
Ratio of reviews/submissions in September: 4.49
Estimated average word count per review in September: 541

Number of submissions in October to date: 299
Number of reviews in October to date: 1394
Ratio of reviews/submissions in October to date: 4.66
Estimated average word count per review in October to date: 609


| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Send your feedback to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com

See you next month!

The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction and Fantasy
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com

| - - Copyright 2002 Online Writing Workshops, LLC - - - - - - - - -|

Visit our newsletter page to subscribe!

[an error occurred while processing this directive]