O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, July 2003
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!
| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
- Workshop News:
OWW novel contest winners published by Del Rey
Workshop Focus Chats
"Submit or die" challenge
August writing challenge
Convention workshop news
Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for June submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Feedback
| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We want to welcome some new (but hopefully familiar) faces as OWW
Resident Editors. Nalo Hopkinson is so busy with her writing and
editing projects that she has moved on from the workshop -- we thank
her for her years of advice and wish her the best of luck.
For several months now, fantasy chapters have been reviewed by former
Del Rey editor Jenni Smith-Gaynor. And starting next month, science
fiction chapters will be chosen and reviewed by Hugo Award-winning
author and _Asimov's_ columnist James Patrick Kelly. We welcome both
of them aboard and are happy to have their expertise available to our
members.
Two of regular editors are also on vacation this month, so Susan Marie
Groppi, fiction editor for the Hugo-nominated _Strange Horizons_, is
filling in for Kelly Link with a short story review. She's been
editing speculative fiction since 1996. She has had the pleasure of
working with writers such as Severna Park, M.C.A. Hogarth, Jay Lake,
Tim Pratt, and James Allison. Next winter she will be taking over as
editor-in-chief of _Strange Horizons_. Gary A. Braunbeck,
Stoker-nominated author of over two hundred stories and a dozen books,
is standing in for Jeanne Cavelos as our horror editor.
OWW NOVEL CONTEST WINNERS PUBLISHED BY DEL REY
Have you checked out the Del Rey e-books published by your fellow OWW authors
yet? Here, in case, you put it off last month, are the links again:
TAINTED GARDEN by Jeff Stanley: What if an alien world was alive? What if
it had secrets it wanted to keep from the people who lived there? This is
high-concept SF, more than just another first-contact novel.
Buy the e-book for $2.99 or read an excerpt now:
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=0345459105&view=excer
pt
STONE MAIDEN by Anne Aquirre: A deconstructionist look at fantasy, devoid of
the usual archetypes and filled instead with real, sympathetic characters.
Buy the e-book for $2.99 or read an excerpt now:
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=0345457676&view=excer
pt
THAGOTH by Michael McClung: The greater the good there is, the greater the
evil that will rise to oppose it. But the heroes will have to conquer
internal demons before they can defeat the external ones. A fantasy about
the human heart at war.
Buy the e-book for $2.99 or read an excerpt now:
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=0345459113&view=excer
pt
WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS
For some time now, workshop members have been having "focus chats" in
which a member's story already posted on the workshop is critted live,
in real time. To get on the list, you have to show up and crit others
first. Here's the upcoming list of focus chats. All workshop members
are invited to participate.
Focus on . . . Leah Bobet! Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Focus on . . . Chelsea Polk! Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Focus on . . . Adrienne Allman! Wednesday, August 6, 2003
Focus on . . . Leonid Korogodski! Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Focus on . . . Deb Atwood! Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Focus on . . . Tara Devine! Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Focus stories are posted on the workshop with (surprise!) the word "focus"
in the title. All chats are held in the DROWWZoo chat room on AIM and are
open to anyone who'd like to participate.
For more information, contact focus czar Pen Hardy at pkhardy(at)aol.com or
instant message her on AIM at screen name PKHardy.
"SUBMIT OR DIE" CHALLENGE
To encourage each other to submit work for publication, mailing list
members periodically issue a "Submit or Die" challenge with prizes for
the most rejections, the first pro sale, and so on. Feel free to join
the challenge. Rules and prizes are posted at:
http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/SOD.html
AUGUST WRITING CHALLENGE
Continuing the element theme from June, August's challenge will be
"Water Fairytales." There are _plenty_ of water myths and fairy tales
out there, and if you can't find a good one, go ahead and make it up.
Remember, challenge yourself. This is only fun if you make it so, so
don't be afraid to take chances. No one needs to know if you fail.
Pick genres that intimidate you, ideas that intrigue you!
For more complete information on the monthly writing challenges,
visit: http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html
CONVENTION WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITY
OWW administrator and sometime resident editor Charles Coleman Finlay
will be instructing the Writers' Workshop at Context XVI in Columbus,
Ohio, on October 3-5, 2003. The workshop costs $60 but that includes a
full membership to the convention. Spaces will be limited.
Registration forms and full details should be available soon at:
http://www.contextcon.com/contexthome.htm
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certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
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Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
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Bonus payments and information about our company:
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Price comparisons:
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| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F, horror,
and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be educational
for others as well as the author.
Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-nominated authors and
instructors like Charles Coleman Finlay and Gary Braunbeck, and
science-fiction and fantasy editors Jenni Smith-Gaynor and Susan Marie
Groppi. Close contenders for the EC may be listed here as runners-up but
usually won't get a review. The last four months of Editors' Choices and
their editorial reviews are archived on the workshop. Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices" in the Submission
Selector. Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!
Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
LAND OF THE BLACK SANDS, CHAPTER 3 by Rachele Colantuono
The first chapter really hooked me into the world and the progressing
story, but I thought I'd comment on the third chapter as a way to
illustrate structure and plot progression. With the introduction of
the characters in the first chapter, Colantuono has dropped the reader
_in medias res_ -- in the middle of the action. We, the readers, are
expected to go along with the unfolding plot in order to understand
the characters' past. It's a great technique that can be used to
amplify the tension of the immediate action as Colantuono has tried to
do with the beginning of Chapter 3.
Unfortunately, passive storytelling defeats this technique. The
feeling of "telling" rather than "showing" is more apparent with the
passive verbs than with active ones.
"He felt his body clenched tight with fear..."
Suggest: "His body clenched tight with fear..."
"He was lying there tense..."
Suggest: "He lay there tense..."
The confrontation between Samel and the Hunts-Guild assassin is a
great place for this immediate voice and will help the reader truly
grasp the tension of this scene. Because the entire story begins with
the two characters after they have left their previous lives, the
flashbacks or momentary remembering of the past is tricky to weave
into the present action. Colantuono does a good job sprinkling in
details of the characters' past, but needs to be careful to avoid
being too passive.
I like how the world is being revealed, but because we are being shown
through the eyes of the characters and in medias res there needs to be
some clarification and more details -- either exposition or hints
dropped in dialog. The Hunts-Guild needs to be fleshed out either here
or in the first chapter when we are initially introduced to them.
We're told they're deadly assassins -- they have the ability to enter
an area undetected (no alarm was sounded among the "citizens" of the
White Cave) -- and possess deadly skills (those cold fingertips
pressed to Samel's throat) but the name "Hunts-Guild" implies that
they are part of a larger organization. It's unclear who they are and
why they would be hunting Samel.
Samel's character needs to be fleshed out. How does he feel about his
power? "Samel could not bring himself to say 'body'..." implies guilt
or remorse, but I don't see any other emotional reaction to his
ability. In the first chapter, Samel has decided not to use his
talents to control others and believes he can find work in the
lowlands, but here, he has no control over the fire. By fleshing out
the character, the reader will be able to empathize with his
dilemma... or despise his weakness. Also, Samel seems much weaker and
more distressed about his power than he did in the first chapter. Be
careful to keep the characterization consistent.
Tarli's character needs to be fleshed out too. More details of the
Ascendi culture from her point of view will help to show her as a
truly sympathetic character as well as help the reader understand her
dilemma. It's unclear why she despises Mar, or why she is so adamant
about denying her heritage. Colantuono does drop some very important
details throughout the exposition -- the expectation of being tattooed
early, the desperate desert crossing -- and more details like these
will go a long way to create a more solid character.
This is a good chapter that does a nice job setting up the characters
and showing some details of the world. By adding more description and
refined details, the characters and cultures will really come alive.
Colantuono has created a unique world and interesting dilemmas for
both main characters, so it will be interesting to see how it
progresses.
--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books
Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY -- PART 1 -- DAY 1 -- POST 1 by Kathryn Allen
This is a first- second- and third-contact story all rolled into one,
told simultaneously from the POV of one of the alien species as well
as the humans.
By starting the novel with Charrha's POV, and by having her care for
the wounded and crippled Chahu, the author creates immediate sympathy
for the invaders before she makes it clear that they're invading
Earth. Switching then to the all-too-fallible human POV, particularly
Lyman, establishes sympathy with them as well. These creates the
promise of a morally ambiguous story, with a potential for mixed
loyalties and shifting alliances. It will be interesting to see how
the novel progresses, and how much connection is made with the other
alien species as they also arrive on the scene.
The author should be careful about withholding too much information.
Although there's good reason to dodge specific setting issues in the
first few pages, there's no reason at all not to name Charrha
outright. She knows her own name, presumably, and when it is
introduced after the landing, it's picked up and used without any
extra fanfare. During the Malloy section, there was no reason not to
tell us right from the beginning that he was awaiting Charrha's
invasion force. Doing so would have created more tension, rather than
less.
Let's look closely at the (real) opening paragraph of this chapter:
"Crouching in the darkness, curled into and embraced by damping foam,
the filtered air already stale, she shifted her weight fractionally
left, making that correction before the dropshell provided so much as
a warning beep -- her instincts finer tuned than its sensors. As long
as she kept making minor attitude adjustments, the torque forces on
the shell were not a serious problem."
This is what I call a kitchen sink first sentence, because it includes
everything but the kitchen sink. The main clause of the sentence is
"she shifted her weight fractionally left." This is preceded by not
one but a series of three specific sensory details that establish some
setting. It's followed by a prepositional phrase that tells us what
*didn't* happen, which is in turned modified by an independent clause
that describes the protagonist generally. Consider the advantages of
clarity in breaking this first sentence up and clearly identifying the
protagonist by name:
"Charrhu crouched in the darkness, curled into and embraced by the
damping foam, breathing the already stale filtered air. She shifted
her weight fractionally left -- her correction came before the
dropshell's warning beep, but then her instincts were more finely
tuned than its sensors."
I would appreciate more distinct names here: Charrhu, Chahu, Ka-Chaa
(bless you), and Cho! all scan too similarly. Between the first and
second paragraphs of the chapter, I thought we could have used a brief
sentence or two of backstory from Charrhu -- where are they dropping,
why is she doing it -- nothing that gives the story away, but just
enough to ground us more in her view of this world.
Watch the use of cliched phrases. These can be little lazy things like
the "so much as" in the first sentence, which are only a problem if
they become too prominent or overused. A much bigger issue for me was
the internal dialogue. Writing out these together and see how
familiar they are: The dead feel no pain, Never volunteer, It was a
no-win situation, Anger's better than fear and always has been. Even
the more specific ones -- "I should have died on Xxixa" -- sound
overused. Again the issue is more one of balance. A few of these would
not be noticeable, but when all of them have that flavor it's dampens
the freshness of the story.
There's a secondary problem here: all three scenes start with internal
dialogue, which creates a parallel structure but also tends to make
the voices of the characters very uniform, non-distinct. If this was
done intentionally to make the characters feel similar, that didn't
come through for me. Instead, it felt like melodrama on the author's
part, and out of place with the otherwise strong writing throughout.
Although I liked the flip in perspective, seeing the landing happen
again as it was experienced on the ground, the Malloy section felt
very static and didn't seem to move the story forward in the end.
Although, it Malloy may be important later on, this chapter would have
been stronger if these events were related from Lyman's POV since he's
the one who concludes the chapter by responding to the events. The
internal dialogue also felt most manipulative in the Malloy section
because nothing else really happens.
This section/chapter has a weak ending hook. Lyman asks "So, how are
you enjoying your visit?" which has a nice internal irony, but that's
it. Since Chaahu speaks English, however, showing her unexpected
response could increase the tension significantly. It's a missed
opportunity to make us turn the page NOW to see what happens next.
Overall, though the writing and world-building are very strong. If I
come down hard on parts of this chapter it's because everything else
succeeds admirably, holding my attention as a reader.
--Charles Coleman Finlay, Workshop Administrator
and author of Nebula and Hugo Finalist "The Political Officer"
http://home.earthlink.net/~ccfinlay/
Editor's Choice, Short Story: "Native Soil" by Leah Bobet
This is a very rich and moving story, and the emotional impact of the
piece is heightened by the compact nature of the narrative. The
author has managed to put across a great deal of information in
relatively few words but the story never feels sparse or rushed.
One key to the story's effectiveness is establishing very early the
narrator's connection to Greece, both in terms of countryside and
culture. Rather than drowning the reader in a flood of information
about Greek culture, the author uses small but significant details to
very good effect.
The narrator's relationship to food is central to the story and
established early on with the use of the feta-cheese sandwich, which
serves the narrator as both a meal and a comfort blanket; in this
sense, the sandwich's removal by the customs officer is a betrayal on
the part of her new country. It's a lot of symbolism to wrap up in
one feta-and-summer-vegetable sandwich, but it works in part because
the author lets it remain a relatively subtle symbol. When the
narrator later describes the English language as tasting "like grease
and stale bread, like plasticky, prepackaged things", the memory of
her last Greek meal with its home-baked bread is an implicit contrast.
The idea of all things American being artificial is very effective in
the hospital scenes as well, with plastic IV tubing dripping fake
nutrients into Sephy's blood and her resulting feeling of being
"corrupted".
For all of the importance of the food imagery in the story, I'm glad
that the author opened the story with land rather than food. It's
clear later on in the piece that the food is itself secondary to the
land; the food is the product of the land, the means by which the
essence of the land is conveyed into the person, but the land itself
is the root. By opening the story with the narrator's father digging
his heels in (a nice choice of words, and one that I can almost see
having both literal and figurative meaning) and attempting to stay on
the family farm, the author uses the story's structure in the service
of the overall theme.
The use of the Persephone myth in this story is another area where the
author's reliance on small but significant details works to her
advantage. Having the narrator almost universally referred to as
"Sephy" rather than "Persephone" is a good choice; the one use of the
full name, in the hospital nurse's mangled attempt at phonetic English
pronunciation, serves the dual purpose of showing the narrator's
alienation in her new country and giving the reader some small clue of
what lies ahead. Even with that clue, the introduction of the
pomengranate at Sephy's hospital sickbed carried a great deal of
emotional weight.
There's a danger in using the myth this way, in that the story is
borrowing emotional impact from outside the narrative. I'm not sure
that the piece would work at all for a reader unfamiliar with the
story of Persephone. For a reader familiar with the story, though,
the bedside interaction between Sephy and her mother is a beautiful
and multi-layered piece of writing. We see all at once the connection
to both the Greek and Californian land, the mother's pain and
sacrifice, and the slowly-building inevitability of Sephy's acceptance
of American culture and eventual return to Greece. When Sephy's
mother tells her that "everything grows in California" and "it's like
home", I can almost hear her thinking that her daughter can grow there
too. In that moment, the connection between the Persephone myth and
the classic immigrant story is so natural and so obvious that I'm
almost surprised I haven't seen it used more often.
The story is told through a number of intertwined narrative threads;
this structural device is often very effective in novels, but in short
stories I find that it often makes the reader feel distanced from the
story. The reduced word-count of a short story makes it that much
more important to draw the reader in and hold her attention very
quickly, and that's often difficult to do when the narrative shifts
back and forth between multiple frames.
But in this case, each narrative strand was simple and engaging enough
to keep the reader involved. I've focused primarily on Sephy's
first-person narration of her immigration and acculturation, since
that's where the emotional and thematic core of the story lies, but I
was impressed with the author's use of the telephone messages. The
childhood story bears the emotional weight of the story, but
ultimately it's all backstory; the present-day telephone messages
carry all of the story's forward plot motion. In the messages, the
author has again managed to use small details to provide a thorough
understanding of both character and setting. In particular, we're
given just enough information to understand Sephy's relationship with
Micah without the author being explicit. Sephy tells Micah that her
hotel telephone number is "on the fridge", and we know that they live
together. When Micah tells Sephy that her mother has been calling him
for information, we know that the relationship is probably a stable
and serious one. We learn also that Sephy is in graduate school, is
in contact with her family in Greece, and is undergoing some sort of
changing processes (Micah comments on her accent) almost as soon as
she arrives in the country. It's a very skillful characterization of
the adult Sephy.
That said, I think the narrative structure is also responsible for the
story's most serious weakness. The third strand of the narrative is a
series of excerpts from what appears to be Sephy's thesis prospectus.
I didn't think that these sections really worked with the rest of the
story, for a number of reasons. The author has nearly flawlessly
mimicked academic writing, but academic writing isn't known for
readability, and these sections jar what's otherwise a very engaging
narrative. More importantly, though, I think the thesis excerpts
undermine the rest of the piece in two major ways. What impressed me
the most about the writing in this story was the subtlety, and I think
that a lot of the impact of the ending of the story comes from the
understated nature of the rest of the piece. The thesis sections are
dangerously close to bare expository statements of the story's
premise; my guess is that they were intended to make the premise clear
even to readers unfamiliar with the source myth, but I think they
detract from the overall reading experience.
The other way in which the thesis sections undermine the rest of the
piece comes from what I can only describe as a muddling of purpose.
By drawing on the Persephone myth, the author is sketching a (for lack
of a better word) spiritual connection between a person's soul and the
land on which that person lives. Food is the material of that
connection, or at least a primary material, but the attempts at
rational explanation laid out in Sephy's thesis proposal make that
connection a scientific one rather than a spiritual one. Talking
about Sephy's experience in terms of "nutrientology" diminishes it. I
would recommend removing those sections from the story entirely.
--Susan Marie Groppi
Fiction Editor, Strange Horizons
http://www.strangehorizons.com
Editor's Choice, Horror:
BLOTTER TO GO (HEAVILY REVISED FIRST CHAPTER) by Beau Smith
There are several elements here which work very well, particularly the
narrator's decent into heightened-awareness and paranoia in the final
third. The writer has also done a commendable job in creating an
opening to a horror novel that is both unexpected yet compelling.
While most horror novels open with overly-portentous scenes of
violence and terror, he eschews that for an opening which focuses on
dread. The realization that the narrator has been drugged is somewhat
jarring and the reader cannot help but follow him on his journey home.
However, there is a major problem with the narrative voice which
causes an uncomfortable dichotomy in the overall tone; the narrator's
inner voice during the first two-thirds is far too prudish considering
what he does for a livelihood. There are too many instances of this
almost-Edwardian formality: "I acknowledged his discovery, and
inwardly complimented him for it." "I studied him with affable
pleasure." "He showed admirable disappointment." "This time it was I
who didn't notice them..." It quickly gets in the way of the flow of
events.
Had this formality been carried over into the narrator's dialogue with
the other characters, it might have at least been justified, but it
still doesn't work. If the writer is trying to illustrate that the
narrator's interior world differs vastly from that in which he lives
and works -- and of course the interior voice is a good way to do this
-- I would strongly suggest he take a look at the change in this voice
that occurs during the final third, where the narrator's cynical
whimsy begins to surface, producing a much more accessible and
compelling voice. For example:
"I stamped my foot three times on the sidewalk, like a horse itching
to move. Yup, the sidewalk was still solid. We all agree that the
sidewalk is solid, made of cement. This is a consensus opinion and it
serves us well..."
"All I got for that was my ankle's promise that if I did not allow
myself to go down without a fight, I'd twist my ankle in the process.
'Don't force me to hurt myself,' it seemed to be saying. So I went
down..."
There is also a tendency in first person narratives to lapse into the
easy passivity of the unspoken "And I survived to tell the tale"
syndrome; yes, as readers we know that the narrator somehow survived
or else how could he be here to relate these events -- that's no
reason to describe the events in such a laid-back manner. The most
glaring example of this occurs early on, when the narrator examines
the contents of his glass in the light from one of the club's windows.
The two paragraphs describing his discovery that his drink has been
spiked with acid are written in a too-precise, clinical manner which
quickly robs the revelation of any power to unnerve either the
narrator or the reader, and from that point on, any sense of rising
alarm is lost. At no point was the narrator's panic made palpable;
yes, as a result of the drugs in his system, he feels slightly removed
from everything, but in this case, as evidenced in the writing, both
the narrator and reader have been a little too far removed from the
event, and what should have been suspenseful and shocking is instead
reduced to a "Huh, isn't that interesting?" moment where all
uncertainty is erased. At this point, the narrator doesn't know if
he's going to be all right, and that has to be conveyed to the reader
in much stronger and direct terms.
There is also never a real sense of the narrator's outrage at his
band-mate's having done this to him; what should be near-hysterical
rage comes across as pouty annoyance, which also drains the events of
momentum and passion.
The writer would also do well to check this chapter for continuity
problems, beginning with the single most important prop in the piece
--- the narrator's glass. It is several passages into the chapter
before we realize the narrator is even holding a glass, which makes
the comments about the paper from the ice confusing. The glass and
its contents are the catalyst for these events, so its presence has to
be established as soon as possible.
The dry humor that emerges in the latter sequences is splendid; the
"confrontation" between the narrator and the doorknob is particularly
funny, and can serve to break the tension once a more immediate and
threatening tone is established.
There are the makings here of a really solid, suspenseful, and
unexpected opening chapter that will catch readers off-guard in the
best possible way. The sequence of events is logical and compelling,
just not yet compelling enough. The occasional continuity errors, the
passivity of the language, and especially the incongruent interior
narrative voice must be addressed and corrected before this opening
can achieve the feverish power it's striving toward. I look forward
to seeing the rewrite.
--Gary A. Braunbeck
Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of THINGS LEFT BEHIND and THE
INDIFFERENCE OF HEAVEN
| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!
If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, just use our online honor-roll nomination
form -- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.
The Honor Roll will show all July nominations beginning August 1.
Some advance highlights from the July honor roll:
Reviewer: Kenneth Rapp
Submission: Mr. Wallce goes to the Past -- Crit4Crit by Mark Malcolm
Submitted by: Arlene Foster
Nominator's Comments: This is my first time to come to this site, or
to read a review for that matter. I felt the story dragged, but at the
same time I was interested. Mr Rapp's review made me see why I felt
the drag and pointed out areas the author could improve the story. I'm
hoping after I submit my own submission that this type of help will be
afforded to me.
Reviewer: Linda Dicmanis
Submission: The Nurturer -- Alone in the Dark (C4C) by William Murphy
Submitted by: William Murphy
Nominator's Comments: It's not just the fact that Linda gave me such a
good review (though it didn't hurt), but I am not very good with the
passive stuff and she is great at pointing that out. My roughest spot
is that kind of grammar and she was an excellent help. Most people
see crit for crit and just say a few things to get a return crit, but
not this girl. Very helpful indeed.
Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during June include: Kat Allen,
Lee Allan, Lynne Batik, Hannah Bowen, Joshua Canete, Rick Dwyer,
cjamesdillon, Mike Farrell, Teri Foster, Rhonda S. Garcia, jim
giammatteo, Kim Gonzalez, Melinda Goodin, Rhys Harper, Daanie Harvey,
May Iversen, Susan Jett, Shawna Kennedy, Kevin Kibelstis (2), Leonid
Korogodski (2), duff mccourt, Sharon Lee McGraw (2), Maura McHugh (2),
Dean McMillin, Karen Mayer, Ian Morrison (2), Haylee Ocean, Andre
Oosterman, Becca Patterson of Variegated Yarns, Michael Pignatella
(2), Michelle Randers, John Schoffstall, Gene Spears, Jeff Stanley,
Michael Staton (2), Keby Thompson-Boyer, Liam Thompson, John Tremlett
(2), Raymond Walshe, Aaron Williams, Jason Venter, jo van de walle.
We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in June can be still found until August 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml
| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.
Check out the Summer Double Issue of _Abyss and Apex_
(http://www.klio.net/abyssandapex/), which features fiction by
Kathryn Allen, Stella Evans, Kyri Freeman, and Chelsea Polk. Wow!
Amberlin Books recently announced the publication of Jeff Wheeler's
novel, LANDMOOR, available now at www.amazon.com and
www.booksamillion.com. Amberlin Books are published by The Amberlin
Group, LLC, which owns and operates _Deep Magic_, the E-Zine of High
Fantasy and Science Fiction. Before LANDMOOR came to _Deep Magic_, Mr.
Wheeler submitted the entire novel to OWW and was very pleased with
the help he received from his fellow-members. He says, "The members
of the OWW who read this novel in its entirety here on the Web site
offered great insight. Those comments helped it succeed as a
serialized novel in _Deep Magic_ and now in print."
Sales and Publications:
Leah Bobet sold her short story "Spirits" to _Fortean Bureau_
(http://www.forteanbureau.com).
Hannah Wolf Bowen sold "Heavy Things" to _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com), tentatively to be published in
more-or-less November. She reminds us it's a workshop and focus-chat
grad.
The EXTREMES 5 anthology (http://lonewolfpubs.com) contains Marlissa
Campbell's story "La Rage," which is about Louis Pasteur, rabies, and
werewolves. The story was workshopped about two years ago as "The
Cure" and was an EC at the time.
Mark Fewell hits the trifecta! His story "Blood Is Thicker Than
Caravan Pay" appears online in the current issue of _Shining Waters
Fantasy Literature_ (http://www.shiningwatersfantasyliterature.ca).
His story "Especially The Rooster" will appear in the premier issue of
_Flash Me Magazine_ (http://www.flash.to/flashme/) on July 31. And
his story "Some Bullets" will appear in _Hadrosaur Tales_ 2O,
scheduled for August 2004.
Okay, it's not a woohoo!, but Shoshanna Jaskoll sold her first
article, "You Might Be An EMS Spouse IF..." to _EMS Magazine_. She
wants to share.
On-base double: Derek R. Molata's story "Terminal Love" is currently
online in the July issue of _Alien Skin Magazine_
(http://www.alienskinmag.com), and he just sold "Blind Kismet" to
_Alien Skin_ for their August issue. If you read Derek on the
workshop, you read those stories here first.
Ruth Nestvold sold "Shadow Memory" to _Marsdust_
(http://www.marsdust.com).
Darrell Pitt's story "Flesh" will appear in the next issue of _Dark
Animus_ (http://www.darkanimus.com). He tells us that "Dark Animus is
seeking submissions for its magazine. It is the leading horror
magazine in Australia. And it's a great read!"
Sarah Prineas's story "Winged Victory" was an honorable mention in the
2003 _Chizine_ (http://www.chizine.com) contest, even though she
doesn't actually win anything or get published. She singles out Dan
Goss's workshop review as especially helpful, and is now looking for a
market for the dern thing.
First paying sale ever! John Schoffstall sold "The Girl of Flesh" to
_Fortean Bureau_ (http://www.forteanbureau.com). He sends a shout out:
"The story was written before I joined OWW, and was never up on the
workshop for crits. However, it was read privately by Meredith
Patterson, whom many of you know. Her liking of it was instrumental
in my decision to start writing fiction seriously again, and it was at
her suggestion that I joined OWW. Thanks, Meredith!"
Jean Seok's story "Isaac's Pyre" appears in the latest issue of
_Chizine_ (http://www.chizine.com). She thanks Rhonda, Siobhan,
Hannah, Allen, eBear and Gary properly for reviewing it on the
workshop.
Sockcess! M. Thomas's short story "Sock Heroes" appeared in the June
30 issue of _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com), where
it generated maybe as much bulletin board discussion as any story
there this year. Go check it out, if you haven't already.
Jeremy Tolbert's "Spooning" is in _Ideomancer_
(http://www.ideomancer.com/). He also recently sold them "Storm Comes
A'Callin". About the latter one, he says: "I owe it all to the
workshoppers. This one came straight from the photo game we
frequently play on instant messenger."
| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Number of members as of 6/20: 678 paying, 138 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 718
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 75.5%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 3.3%
Number of submissions in June: 552
Number of reviews in June: 2456
Ratio of reviews/submissions in June: 4.45
Estimated average word count per review in June: 588.8
Number of submissions in July to date: 313
Number of reviews in July to date: 1445
Ratio of reviews/submissions in July to date: 4.62
Estimated average word count per review in July to date: 650.1
| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
TIPS APPRECIATED
Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.
Until next month -- Just write!
The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
| - - Copyright 2003 Online Writing Workshops, LLC - - - - - - - - -|
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