THE WORKSHOP NEWSLETTER

O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, December 2003
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!

| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

- Workshop News:
     The power of persistence
     Odyssey workshop 2004
     Workshop focus chats
     January writing challenge
     Market information
     Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for September submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics


| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |


THE POWER OF PERSISTENCE

Two different members told stories this month that highlighted the
importance of persistence to any writer who wants to succeed.

Deb, aka Deborah, Coates, sold her story "Articles of a Personal Nature" to
_Sci Fiction_ (http://www.scifi.com/scifiction). She wrote:

"I went five years without a short story sale (I've had previous sales to
_F&SF_, sff.net anthologies and a couple of others). Last holiday season I
spent (way too much) time trying to decide if I was just kidding myself
about this writing business.  And now this...let's just say if I'd had a
dream about how I wanted to come back from a five-year drought, this would
be darn close to 'it.'"

James, aka Unka Jim, Stevens-Arce had a story about a different kind of
persistence with the sale of his story "Was Once a Beauty" to _Cicada_.
Here's the whole thing in his own words:

I wrote the original version of this story in 1977 as "The Shopping Bag
Lady." It was rejected four times.

In 1982, I rewrote it and retitled it "Mrs. Whoozis." It was rejected three
times, then sold in 1985 to a magazine called _Weird Tales_, which paid me
$95, went under before publishing it, returned first rights to me, and
didn't ask for their money back. This version was much different from the
current one, having more of a a Twilight Zone-ish feel to it while the
current version is more of an urban magical realism thingy.

The story, which someone had shelled out good money for but never published,
then received eight consecutive rejections.

In 1988, I rewrote it and got eight more rejections. Rewrote it in '89; got
five more rejections. Rewrote it in '92; got three more rejections. Rewrote
it in '93; got six more rejections. Rewrote it in '95; got five more
rejections.

Oh, and somewhere in there, the story was titled "Baby and the Bruja" for
awhile ("bruja" being the Spanish word for "witch"). But the saga endeth not
here.

I rewrote it again in '01 and managed to pile up three additional rejections
before _Cicada's_ editors, who are clearly gifted with preternatural insight
and impeccable literary taste, sent me a letter saying they all three "found
the voice believable and compelling" and offering to publish it.

Total rejections: 45. Total sales: 2.

Some of the rewrites were major; some were more in the way of a polish. I'd
like to think that it finally sold because over the years I became a better
writer, learned how to develop the characters into more fully realized
versions of themselves, and was able to make it a better story, which then,
serendipitously, found its way to the right place at the right moment.

Those 45 rejections, by the way, include all the major genre markets, some
which no longer exist, some of which I hit more than once, none of which --
with the exception of _Playboy_ and _Omni_ -- paid anything near 25c a word.

The way I see it, being "red hot" now is the result of twenty-six years of
effort. I must say, I'm glad I hung in there!


ODYSSEY WRITING WORKSHOP 2004

Odyssey is a highly respected creative writing workshop for science
fiction, fantasy, and horror authors.  It was founded nine years ago
to provide up-and-coming genre writers the guidance and support
necessary to become professionals, and it has quickly become one of
the premier genre workshops in the country.  Forty percent of
Odyssey's graduates have gone on to be published, a staggering
statistic for a creative writing workshop.  Odyssey's director is none
other than our horror reviewer: editor, author, and teacher Jeanne
Cavelos. Odyssey's special writer-in-residence for 2004 is George R.
R. Martin, with guest lecturers like award-winning authors Catherine
Asaro, Ellen Kushner, Delia Sherman, and Barry B. Longyear, bestseller
Bob Mayer, and award-winning editor/writer Gardner Dozois.

Those interested in receiving further information and an application
should visit the Odyssey Web site at http://www.odysseyworkshop.org, or
send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Odyssey, 20 Levesque Lane,
Box G, Mont Vernon, NH 03057. The Web site includes information about
expenses and scholarships.


WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS

Mark your calendars for the following upcoming writing chat:

Focus on . . . Eric Bresin!
Wednesday, January 7, 2004

Focus on . . . Bonnie Freeman!
Wednesday, January 14, 2004

The focus stories are posted on the OWW with the word 'focus' in the title.
All chats are held in the DROWWZoo chat room on AIM.  For more information,
email Pen Hardy or IM her at PKHardy.


JANUARY WRITING CHALLENGE

Celia Marsh, the Challenge Dictator, is having babies!

Have fun making your own babies. As always, any genre you want, but remember
to push yourself.  Write something you'd never try otherwise, or if that's
too scary, try a different sub-genre -- urban fantasy instead of high
fantasy, space opera instead of hard SF.

Participating in the monthly challenges is an excellent way to stretch
your skills and try things that you usually wouldn't tackle. Pick a
genre you usually don't write in, or a subject that challenges you. Do
something daring; these pieces are for fun, so don't worry about them.
If it fails, no one ever needs to know about it, but a lot of these
pieces succeed. Challenging yourself, truly trying something that
scares you but speaks to you, may pay off in ways you can't expect.
Over 30 challenge stories have gone on to publication.

For more complete information on the monthly writing challenges,
visit: http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html


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Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
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For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
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| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors.  Submissions in four categories -- SF, F, horror,
and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be educational
for others as well as the author.

Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, James Patrick Kelly, and Kelly Link,
and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni
Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their
editorial reviews are archived on the workshop.  Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices."

Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!

Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
DEAD OF WINTER, CH. 1 by Jeremy Yoder

In his author's notes, Jeremy Yoder says DEAD OF WINTER "is an
experiment at cross-gen." There's a promising framework of a
contemporary dark fantasy/horror story happening here, and I encourage
Yoder to continue with this experiment. There are plenty of readers
who love a good "whodunit" or rather, a "whatdunit."

The opening scene is a nice introduction to the kind of novel one
might expect -- a detective arriving on the scene of a homicide. What
would make this stand out are missing details and believability. One
thing to be careful of when writing novels about criminal
investigations is the police/forensic work. Several reviewers have
already noted this and I strongly agree with the need for research. By
weaving authentic police details and forensic clues throughout the
opening scenes, the tension can be built and a real sense of urgency
can emerge to hook the reader. The characters and the "serial killer"
-- even when that killer might have supernatural origins -- will feel
more realistic and believable.  A detective arriving on the scene of a
homicide, which has the hallmarks of a serial killer already suspected
to prey on that part of the city. is a snappy introduction to the
novel. Yoder can take this introduction and create either a
tension-filled mystery or a horrifying roller-coaster ride of terror --
or a mixture of both.

The characters also need to be fleshed out.  Holbrook feels very much
like an "everyman gumshoe." He smokes. He doesn't like to work with a
partner. He's been working in law enforcement for two decades. Despite
these details I don't really get a sense of a character here, just a
caricature of a detective. Since the story is from his point of view,
there's a beginning of a "voice," but giving him real personality
would make this story pop.

The opening scene feels like it should have more "oomph." We're told
that the victim has been brutally killed. Teeth marks are left behind.
Later, claw marks are discovered going up the side of a wall. Other
than those details, I don't get a sense of real danger, real
supernatural elements, or tension. Holbrook starts with a blase
attitude but then nearly vomits upon seeing the body -- which is not
shown to the reader. I don't necessarily want to "see" the body, but
we should, through the point-of-view character, feel something about
the scene. The forensics research will help flesh out this area and
help Yoder make this a truly gripping introduction. Other details will
help form a mental picture in the reader's minds without having to
show the gore.
To make this truly fresh, I recommend adding to this opening scene
something original and not used before. Right now, the introduction to
the story reads like so many other crime/detective stories with the
splash of potential supernatural to put it in the fantasy genre. The
fresh new twist could either be with the protagonist or the
antagonist, the world, the situation, or any other detail that will
make the reader sit up and take notice. The hook's job is to lure the
reader into wanting to find out what happens next, so the end of the
scene where Holbrook sees the claw marks is a nice touch, but still
rather anti-climactic. Might I suggest another clue in addition to the
claw marks that will separate your killer from ones we've read about
before? Of course, if you want this to be just an old-fashioned
werewolf or other well-used creature, give the "special touch" to your
protagonist and make him stand out from the rest of the "gumshoes."

DEAD OF WINTER has a good commercial feel and a nice framework for an
entertaining story. More research will make the situation and
characters feel authentic and stand out from the crowd. Adding a
special touch of originality will keep the pages turning and really
hook the reader. This is a good beginning and I encourage Mr. Yoder to
continue with this endeavor.

--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books


Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
PERFECT CIRCLE CHAPTER 9 by Carlos Jimenez-Cortes

Every novelist to fated to write a Chapter Nine.  Sometimes you have
to write it at Chapter Six and sometimes at Chapter Twenty-Seven.
Often you can break Chapter Nine up over three different chapters and
on occasion you may have to write two Chapter Nines, although this
tends to slam brakes on your narrative momentum.

I'm not sure what other writers call their Chapter Nines, but for me,
I've always thought of it as the "Talking Heads" chapter.

One way a novelist builds suspense is to withhold information from key
characters -- and the reader -- at the commencement of the action.
Something mysterious has happened: what is it and what does it mean?
However, at some point the author must move on to second and third
acts and raise the stakes.  The hidden information must come out. It
may be the case that one character imparts the information to another,
but a better if more complicated way to write a "Talking Heads"
chapter is to call a meeting at which different characters offer
different perspectives on the secret information.  That's what Carlos
has done in his Chapter Nine and he puts his talking heads through
their paces with some skill.

Carlos opens the chapter by giving his POV character a melancholic
mood. Paul Reece is coming home from a two-year self-imposed exile
after a bruising family squabble.  Check this lovely bit:  "Memories
assailed him with a peculiar third-person aftertaste, as if they
belonged to someone else. He felt odd, like a soldier returning home
from the trenches."  We learn he has run away from his past but must
now confront it and move on if he is to solve the mystery.  He is
still emotionally wounded but rapidly recovering strength.   We first
see him in a nice scene with the family housekeeper, "the closest
thing to a mother he could remember." Lupe "probably knew him better
than anyone else" and when he makes amends with her he has cleared the
stage for the meeting at which he will learn what the rest of the book
is going to be about.

International Mining Corporation has found a mysterious artifact and
has called Paul home so he can figure out what it is.  Carlos peoples
the "Talking Heads" meeting with three executives of IMC: an ally,
Patrick; an adversary, Travis; and a neutral scientist, Lynne, whom he
wins over.  This excellent choice makes for some juicy character
interaction.   The meeting starts in a lab as they look over samples
retrieved from the artifact.  Here Carlos is quite assured as he lays
down a convincing line of technological patter.  "The sample is not
complete. We've taken two inches from the juncture of the materials
for analysis. The elastomer, the black material, has two principal
characteristics: it's almost inert--not affected by organic solvents
or hydrocarbon compounds. The other quality is more surprising. The
thing is as incombustible as you can get. When it reaches a
temperature of six hundred degrees Celsius, it hardens and becomes
rigid, changing to a shiny gray color like polished steel."  and
"'This is a material that maintains its magnetic characteristics.'
Lynne paused as if gathering breath. 'The result is a metal
superconductor at room temperature, and ten times stronger than
titanium, with a quarter of its weight.'"  This is red meat for the
_Analog_ crowd and at the same time convinces English majors like
yours truly without overwhelming them.

Carlos then makes a deft move by moving the meeting from the lab to
Lynne's office, from the presentation of evidence to a discussion of
what it means. This may seem like a small thing, but it effectively
refreshes the scene, gives the reader a chance to consider what has
taken place and resets the lines of power in the ensuing conversation.

Alas, here Carlos's grip on one of his characters slips.  The
adversary, John Travis, goes over the top.  He needs more nuance --
right now all he lacks is a tee shirt that reads "I am the Bad Guy."
I was particularly struck by a remark he makes about Lynne, an officer
of his corporation, which probably constitutes sexual harassment.  In
my experience (and I have some), vice presidents of major
international corporations are rarely this indiscreet -- at least in
public. As presented here, Travis is a lawsuit waiting to happen. I
also get the sense that he will always come down on the wrong side of
every issue, possibly as the poster boy for corporate greed. I hope
this isn't the case.  Whenever possible, an antagonist ought to take
positions that are clearly defensible, if misguided.  Ruthless people
like Travis are not necessarily stupid -- if they were, they wouldn't
be dangerous.

Also, I found the speculations that the talking heads offer in the
office scene about what the artifact means to be just slightly wonky,
if only because they don't have enough information to be spinning such
elaborate theories.   But Carlos ends the chapter very well indeed, by
having Paul reassert his rightful place in the corporation by
confronting Travis over who will be in charge of the exploring the
artifact. This felt absolutely right to me, given not only what we've
seen of Paul's character arc but also the hurly-burly of corporate
politics.   Well done, Carlos!  Press on!

--James Patrick Kelly
Author of STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER and THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
http://www.jimkelly.net


Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"Heart of Oak" by Ian Tregillis

This is a well-written story that uses a fascinating piece of WW II
trivia, along with a cast of characters that might have walked
straight out of the pages of an X-Men comic. The author wondered
whether the weird-but-historically-factual battleship made of pykrete
(ice mixed with wood pulp) sat comfortably with the more sfnal story
details. Well, it does and it doesn't. At the moment, neither element,
the ship nor the saboteur Reinhardt's talents/background, feels fully
integrated into the story.

My first thought was that the pykrete ship was a much more powerful
idea, and that if you concentrated on its maker or the seamen who
become its crew, then you would have a much more self-contained,
manageable story. You could do a lot with atmosphere and with the
crew's unease being aboard a ship that is more or less made of water.
It's an otherworldly, uncanny sort of experience, and would create all
kinds of tensions. You're also missing a great opportunity keeping the
ship in dry dock: how much more interesting and tense if all this was
occurring at sea.

Reinhardt is a great character, though, and even if you were to take
him out of this story, I would keep him for another. And if you want
to keep closer to this draft, then I have some suggestions for
reworking it.

First of all, we need to see Reinhardt interacting more with the other
characters. We're told that the other seamen like him. You've missed a
valuable chance to make the present-day plot more interesting when
Reinhardt is ill. His friends ought to be coming by and telling him
stories -- surely there are superstitions and concerns about the
pykrete ship, and ghost stories that they could tell him. He should
also be reading the book that Magda gave him -- at the moment, all he
does is carry it around in a way that feels awkwardly significant.

We also need to know what it is that "Able Seaman Richard Turnbull"
does during the day -- there doesn't have to be much, and you can
incorporate this into the time when he's ill and in bed, if the other
sailors are telling him what he's missed. By the way, no point is
served in first using "Ricky" for the protagonist, and then switching
to Reinhardt. It just feels clunky and confusing. Call him Reinhardt
right from the start.

You could do much more with Reinhardt's distaste for the "mongrel
races." If one of his bunkmates is blond and Aryan-looking, but also
Jewish, it would be a great way to both unsettle Reinhardt, and also
make him think of Buhler, and how displeased Buhler would be. I'd also
suggest that when Reinhardt comes back from the first encounter with
the ship, that he be so depleted of warmth and energy that instead of
crawling into his own bed, he goes for a source of warmth, and crawls
in bed with another seaman, who might think he was being attacked or
seduced, until he discovers how cold Reinhardt is. That would drive
the plot, and advance the action with a bit more speed.

It would also be nice to have more of a sense of what Reinhardt wants
for himself. Some of the best parts of the story involve Reinhardt's
talents: for example, when Magda startles him and his tea goes up in a
cloud of steam, or when he doesn't piss before going aboard the ship,
in order to conserve energy.

As for the Special Directorate for Education and Development, it would
be simpler to give us some exposition, rather than trying to cram
everything into a handful of staged scenes. There is some terrific
stuff in the flashback scenes, but it all feels a bit crowded. Give us
a bit more space to get to know Magda and how her talent works, and by
implication, how Reinhardt's talent works. Why is Magda crazy? Where
does she come from? Slow it down, make us interested in these
characters. The same goes for Heike and for the confrontation between
Magda and Buhler. And when Magda gives the infirmary book to
Reinhardt, it would mean more if we knew what kind of relationship
Reinhardt and Magda have. Is Magda jealous that he's leaving? Is she
fond of him in some way? You end the scene with Magda asking if
Reinhardt knows how to build a fire, but the closing feels artificial
-- how does Reinhardt respond? Does he walk away? Why does he keep the
book?

As for the ending, it might work better if Reinhardt's capture were
something incidental, fortuitous for the British, rather than planned
from the beginning. It seems like a waste of a good pykrete ship.

Lastly, think about what Reinhardt wants for himself. We know that he
hates the Allies, and that he's devoted to the German cause. But his
masters have sent him out into the cold. Surely he fantasizes about
living somewhere warm and tropical, or about the hearts of volcanoes.
Show us what he wants, not just what he needs to accomplish.

Some line edits and suggestions:

-- "Wind knifed through the buttonholes in his parka and through three
layers of clothing the moment he stepped out of the trees and into the
field of stumps that ringed the clearing."

Be as specific and particular with your details as possible: "Wind
knifed through the buttonholes in his parka, through the layers of his
sweater, his woolen shirt, and flannel undershirt. He might as well
have been naked, Reinhardt thought, shivering."

-- "He looked up at the towering dry dock silhouetted against ethereal
blue and green sheets of the Aurora Borealis."

It's always much more effective when you don't try to cram in
description with action. How about: "He looked up at the towering dry
dock. Above, the ethereal blue and green sheets of the Aurora Borealis
were shivering and dancing." You could even tell us if Reinhardt finds
the sight beautiful, or if he loathes the lights because they look
cold to him.

-- "The tip of his cigarette flared marigold orange in the chiaroscuro
landscape as he took another long drag, savoring the flavor."

Here's another example of a place where you're trying to cram in too
much descriptive language. If you cut "in the chiaroscuro landscape,"
you're left with much better flow, a tighter focus, and with the
really lovely image of the marigold flare.

-- "Ricky grasped the handrails of the shuddering gangplank as he
climbed up into the center of the icy, stinging maelstrom."

Again, keep the focus tight. Cut "up into the center of the icy,
stinging maelstrom", and the sentence becomes much more active, much
more focused. Don't try so hard to pack lovely descriptions into
active sentences -- it just diffuses both the description and the
action.

-- "The level of craftsmanship here stood in stark contrast to the
crude handiwork throughout the rest of the ship."

One of my pet peeves, as an editor, is the use of "stark contrast" as
a description, or "contrast" as a verb. It always feels lazy.

-- "Fretwork, latticework, and other more complex designs covered
every inch of the sturdy door, except where a wide wheel protruded
from the center."

I immediately assume that these are spells, but Reinhardt doesn't?
Perhaps it would be more convincing if he paused slightly longer to
study, and then dismiss the patterns as superstitions.

-- "Tendrils of steam rose up from beneath his palm. It had an odd,
rough texture, and the color was wrong, but there was no mistaking the
main ingredient."

"It" is missing a reference, unless you mean his palm.

-- "His skin glistened with sweat as he quivered with exertion,
pushing himself to the limit under the watchful eyes of white-coated
Schutzstaffel doctors."

Using "as" in place of "and" to join sentences is to be avoided. For
example, the sentence structure is stronger here, if you break it up:
"His skin glistened with sweat. He quivered with exertion..."

-- "Simply breaking into the coolant room would be a trivial matter,
though not without leaving evidence of his infiltration."

Something missing from this sentence?

-- "Reinhardt's microscopic feelers were severed as easily as a French
noble's neck beneath the guillotine. Something forced his awareness
out of the ice as forcefully as if a thick steel door had been smashed
into his face. He recoiled from the wall, half jumping, half falling."

I'd suggest cutting the middle sentence. Too many similes slows down
the action -- you want him to jump away as quickly as possible.

-- "The angular, unyielding metal case of the torch gouged his back,
even through a parka and three layers of clothing."

We already know that he's wearing a parka and three layers of
clothing. Why not just say "The torch dug into his back." Simpler is
usually more effective.

-- "Crazy Magda, who had once convinced lovely, sometimes-invisible
Heike that she had foreseen her vivisection at the hands of
disappointed Schutzstaffel doctors, and who had laughed and laughed
when Reinhardt found Heike in her room the next morning, arms slashed
open from wrist to elbow."

I'd make it "she had foreseen Heike's vivisection", just to make it
clear. This is an awkward sentence -- break it up and slow it down. We
never find out why Magda is crazy. It would be nice to know more about
Heike. (The necrophilia reference, by the way, is creepily brilliant.)

-- "Poor, tragic Sam McGee. Nobody can keep warm like Reinhardt Jost
can," said Magda. She threw her head back and cackled again. A log
popped in the fireplace, and the aroma of burning cedar drifted into
the room."

This is Reinhardt's response, I know, but it feels a bit too subtle.
Maybe he should throw the book onto the fire.

-- "All throughout the four days, he ruminated on his failure and
humiliation at the hands of filthy North American mongrels."

By this point, you've used "mongrels" often enough. I'd cut the second
half of the sentence so that it ends "...he ruminated on his failure
and humiliation."

-- "The syrupy mass relinquished its grasp on his limbs with a soft
"galoop" sound."

"Galoop" is a bit too descriptive -- it's distracting. Something like
"A soft sucking sound" would be creepier.

--Kelly Link
Editor of TRAMPOLINE, available from Small Beer Press
http://www.kellylink.net/


Editor's Choice, Horror:

The Editor's Choice for Horror is taking a month's winter vacation.
But fear not! All of November's submissions will be considered
alongside December's horror subs for the EC when it returns in the
January newsletter.


| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews.  After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!

If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, just use our online honor-roll nomination
form -- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.

The Honor Roll will show all Dec. nominations beginning January 1.
Here are some advance highlights from the December honor roll:

Reviewer: Donna Johnson (PA)
Submission: A Grim Tale- Chapter One (crit4crit)  by Marianne Keesee
Submitted by: Marianne Keesee
Nominator's Comments: Donna provided a lot of detail in her criticism
and explained not only what didn't work but also what could make it
better.  Her suggestions made me think about what could make my
chapter better.  It was a very helpful review.

Reviewer: Roger McCook
Submission: The Chest - will return all crits  by Scott Marlowe
Submitted by: Scott Marlowe
Nominator's Comments: This review was helpful because it was pointedly
honest. The reviewer offered some good advice, made reference to the
exact passages, and provided alternative suggestions on how to present
the material.  Overall, a good review which I think will help me a lot.

Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during November include: Gill
Ainsworth, Heidi Anderson, Treize Armistedian (2), Iaver Asilob (2),
Brad Beaulieu, Sandie Bergen, Mike the janitor (Blumer), Joanne
Bradley, Aaron Brown, David H. Burton, Marlissa Campbell, Deb Cawley,
Chris Coen, Tara Devine, David Emanuel, Mike Farrell, Geraldine
Fitzsimmons, Rhonda S. Garcia, Jim Giammatteo, Michael Goodwind (2),
Dorian E. Gray, Elizabeth Hull, Susan Jett, Tom Jolly,  Judd Karlman,
Karen Kolodenko, Mark Malcolm (2), Helen Mazarakis (2), Roger McCook
(2), Jennifer Michaels (2), Kelly Morisseau, Lizzie Newell (2), Ruth
Nestvold, Pamela OBrien, David Reagan, Carol Seck, Jeff Spock (2), PJ
Thompson, Sherry Thompson, Ian Tregillis, Jaime Voss, Raymond Walshe,
Larry West, Walter Williams, Zvi Zaks.

We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in October can be still found until December 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml


| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.

Sales and Publications:

Leah Bobet's short story "September 8th to September 14th" appears in
the Fall 2003 issue of _Full-Unit Hookup_.  Her poem "The Rose-Child
Iterate" appears in _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com) the week of Dec. 8th.

Hannah Wolf Bowen's short story "Heavy Things" appeared in _Strange
Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com) the week of Dec. 8th.
(Hrmmm... where else did I just read that last phrase?)

Eric Bresin had two poems, "What Becometh of Teachers" and "Beyond
Spring and Winter," accepted by the _Athena Newsletter_ for honors
students at his university -- worth mentioning because the second is a
spec-fic poem.

Deborah Coates sold short story "Articles of a Personal Nature" to
_Sci Fiction_ (http://www.scifi.com/scifiction).

Former active workshop member Jennifer de Guzman sold a short story "A
Season of Silence" and a poem "Carnival" to _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com). The story is a retelling of the
Persephone myth in modern times, involving black leather and swanky
sports cars.

Robert Evans's short story "Regret, I Am Allowed" placed as a
semi-finalist in the fourth quarter of the Writers of The Future
contest.

Stella Evans sold her short story, "Louisa, Johnny, and the North
Shore Huldre" to _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com).
Look for it in April, 2004!

Sandra McDonald's short story "The Spam of God" appears in the Fall
2003 issue of _Full-Unit Hookup_. She also just sold her story
"Bluebeard by the Sea" to _Talebones_ for publication next summer.

Catherine M. Morrison's flash story "A Perfect Bethlehem" appears this
month's Ideomancer (http://www.ideomancer.com/).

Shame works? Steve Nagy e-mailed us after last month's newsletter to
give us the details on his sale, which was announced last month but
annotated thusly: "Not that he bothered to send us a note or anything
about it." So, again, with feeling this time: Steve Nagy's "The
Revelation of St. Elvis the Impersonator" has been accepted by
_Electric Velocipede_. Says the belatedly informative Steve, "The
story was workshopped way back when, say three years ago." I remember
reading the first draft and it doesn't seem that long back!

On a roll: Michael Pignatella, under his psuedonym Anthony Elam, sold
his short story "A Dish Best Served Cold" to _Wicked Hollow_. He
writes that it was "originally workshopped under the title 'Death is
the Absence of Love' and sold on its first try!  Thanks to Julia
Reynolds, Barry Hollander, Kerri-Leigh Grady, Gill Ainsworth and
Suzann Dodd!" His story "Alphabet Soup" was also voted favorite short
story for the Sept - Dec issue of _Aoife's Kiss_. And his short story
"Three Sneezes" will be appearing in either the March or June 2004
edition of _Aoife's Kiss_. For that story he writes: "I've lost my
list of those who gave me crits, but as usual they were all helpful
and all much appreciated!"

Whoot! Chelsea Polk sold "Wings and Bright Wax" to _Inkspin Magazine_.
She sends "thanks especially to Kat Allen, who went over the whole
thing sentence by sentence, and Amber van Dyk, who knew exactly how my
last sentence got tangled up."

Former workshop member Dick Schatz sold short story "Operation Swamp
Hunt" to _Planet Relish_ (http://www.planetrelish.com) for their
December issue. He writes: "Maybe this will convince my wife that I
really am funny!"

Marsha Sisolak's short story "On Whom the Pale Moon Gleams" was a
quarter-finalist in the fourth quarter of the Writers of the Future
contest.

James Stevens-Arce sold "Was Once a Beauty," the short story he read
at WorldCon, to _Cicada_ magazine. See the full story in this month's
news section up above. And his short story "Smart Bomb" has been
accepted by the _Fortean Bureau_ (http://www.forteanbureau.com).

M. Thomas sold her story "Einstein's Bride" to _Planet Relish_
(http://www.planetrelish.com) for their December issue.  She tells us
"The story made a brief appearance on the workshop, and left the
better for it. Thanks to all the reviewers who helped with patent
advice!"

Mikal Trimm's story "Natalie's Grove" was accepted by _Scrybe Press_
(http://www.scrybepress.com). It will be out some time in December as
a chapbook.  His story "Innocents" will appear in the _Darker Than
Sin..._ anthology.  He also sold a poem to _Flytrap_ #2.

Kim Zimring sold her nonfiction science article "The Future of
Transplantation" to _Analog_.  She workshopped the article on OWW and
says "I need to thank all the reviewers for their help, especially May
Iverson, David Moore and Ken Mulholland. The reviews were a major
help!"


| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Number of members as of 12/20:  681 paying, 107 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 613
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 77.0%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 1.9%

Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 5.06

Number of submissions in November: 494
Number of reviews in November: 2287
Ratio of reviews/submissions in November: 4.63
Estimated average word count per review in November: 660.4

Number of submissions in December to date: 326
Number of reviews in December to date: 1571
Ratio of reviews/submissions in December to date: 4.82
Estimated average word count per review in December to date: 667.2

Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 59 (9.6% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 0
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 26
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 33



| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Got a helpful tip for your fellow members?  A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission?  Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter.  Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.

Until next month -- Happy holidays, and just write!

The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com

| - - Copyright 2003 Online Writing Workshops, LLC - - - - - - - - -|