THE WORKSHOP NEWSLETTER

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O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, May 2004
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!

| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

- Workshop News:
    OWWers at Clarion
    OWW brochure available
    OWW launches new Fiction workshop
    Locus interview and special promotion
    Scholarship contributions, anthology news
    Workshop focus chats
    June writing challenge
    Market information
    Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for April submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback


| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |


OWWERS AT CLARION

Clarion-bound!  Five OWWers have reported that they've been accepted to
the 2004 Clarion writing workshops so far--wow! Jeff Spock will be
attending Clarion West, where he will get the chance to study with OWW
Resident Editors Kelly Link and James Patrick Kelly. Al Bogdan, Eric
Breslin, Peter Burtis, and John Schofstall will get to meet each other
at Clarion East, where they will get to work with Resident Editor Kelly
Link only, but for two whole weeks.

We hope the workshop builds on their experience at OWW. Good luck to
everyone who applied for Clarion South and Jeanne Cavelos's Odyssey
Writing Workshop.

Sales and Publications this month also contains four new first story
sales. Congratulations to those members!


OWW BROCHURE AVAILABLE

Some workshop members have asked for a downloadable brochure to print
out for promotional use at conventions, writers' groups, etc.  So we've
placed a PDF of our 2-sided brochure on the workshop site:

https://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/art/promotion/OWW-SFFHbrochure2004.pdf

Or just go to https://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/art/promotion/ and
click on the link.

It looks best in color but works okay in black and white. Please let us
know at support(at)sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com when and where you use
it.  Thanks!


OWW LAUNCHES NEW FICTION WORKSHOP

Thanks to everyone who's helped to beta-test our latest workshop, the
Online Writing Workshop for Fiction.  We will be launching it and
beginning a promotion campaign later this month.  The most popular
category for submissions appears to be "I hate categories," with almost
half the total, but "Contemporary" and "Suspense/Thriller" are both
strong.

This workshop will continue to be free for at least a few months. If you
want to sign up for a free membership, or if you know anyone who might
benefit from this workshop, visit the workshop at
http://fiction.onlinewritingworkshop.com


LOCUS INTERVIEW AND SPECIAL PROMOTION

Workshop admin and resident answer guy Charles Coleman Finlay was
interviewed in the April issue of _Locus Magazine_, the SF/F/H industry
trade publication. _Locus_ includes reviews of books and short fiction,
coverage of agents and publishers, news on book deals and awards,
interviews with writers and editors, and a whole lot more for people who
want to get a sense of the business side of SF/F/H publishing. If you've
never read Locus, and are serious about learning the business side of
writing science fiction and fantasy, it's worth taking a look at one
time at least.

_Locus_ is offering a special promotion.  You can order a single copy of
April issue and have postage paid, or you can subscribe and get the April
issue free (http://www.locusmag.com/2004/Issues/04SubscribeFinlay.html). You
can read the first page of the interview here to see if you're interested:
http://home.earthlink.net/~ccfinlay/locus.html


SCHOLARSHIP CONTRIBUTIONS, ANTHOLOGY NEWS

We'd like to thank everyone for their generous contributions to the
workshop's scholarship fund this past month. Scholarship contributions help
make the workshop available to everyone, including members from around the
world.

Donations are not the only way to support the OWW Scholarship fund. We've
got a mailing list update from Rabe Phillips, who edited the DARKER THAN TIN
chapbook anthology. Rabe writes:

"The first check for the scholarship fund (raised completely from
anthology sales) will be in the mail very shortly.  I'm very pleased
to be sending this first check off and certainly hope that this won't
be the last of the donations we are able to make because of the anthology.

"The other part that I wanted to update you on is this:
I know that a few people have been reluctant to order the anthology
because of the additional shipping and handling price charged by
CafePress.  I've been working on that issue and I'm pleased to
announce that I am finally able to accept orders for the anthology at
a more reasonable price.  By ordering directly from me the shipping
price will be a LOT more reasonable.  I find that I'm able to ship multiple
copies of the anthology for LESS than Cafepress was asking for, using the
service of Paypal.

"By surfing to these links...

"http://www.rabephillips.net/chapbook/darkerthantin.html
or
http://www.rabephillips.net/journal/engel/teufel.html

"You will find a 'buy now' button that will take you to a Paypal
ordering page.  From here you can order multiple copies of the anthology
and I promise that I will ship up to four copies of the anthology for
the same $2 shipping fee.

"Even if you order just one copy of the anthology, you'll be saving at
least $2.25 from what Cafepress would have charged for both the
anthology and shipping.  By ordering directly from me the anthology is
priced at $8 and with the shipping, you pay only a total of $10."

All profits from the sale of the anthology go to the scholarship fund.
Thanks, Rabe!


WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS

Mark your calendars for the following upcoming writing chats:

Focus on . . . Tom Grady!
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 @ 6 pm EDT

Focus on . . . Mary Wilson!
Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Focus on . . . Melinda Goodin!
Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Focus on . . . Cathy Freeze!
Wednesday, June 9, 2004

Focus on . . . Kelly Morisseau!
Wednesday, June 16, 2004

The focus stories are posted on the OWW with the word "focus" in the
title. All chats are held in the DROWWZoo chat room on AIM.  For more
information, e-mail Pen Hardy or IM her at PKHardy.


JUNE WRITING CHALLENGE

Challenge Dictator Celia Marsh, always a shaker and mover, has recently
moved, which leaves the whole challenge shaky.  Celia! You never write
us any more, you never call!

The next monthly writing challenge will surely be announced on the
Challenge homepage (http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html) so
check it today, or bookmark it and check it later.


MARKET INFORMATION

Member Carole McDonnell passed on this information about a new Christian
sf/fantasy market: "Strang Communications, publisher of Charisma
magazine, dives into fiction--fantasy, spiritual warfare novels,
supernatural thrillers, and possibly science fiction. The line will
launch officially in October 2005 with 4-5 books. Strang is looking for
authors who will improve with every book and maintain loyalty. Send
QUERIES ONLY to Jeff Gerke at jeffg@strang.com. Click below to read
Jeff's previous WP interview under his pen name Jefferson Scott.
http://www.marilynngriffith.com/wordpraize/interviews/jscott.html"


MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION

How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi
(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a
fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks
and some post offices).  If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).

Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not.  We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member.  Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.

Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them.  So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip
for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!

For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml


| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors.  Submissions in four categories -- SF, F, horror,
and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be educational
for others as well as the author.

Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, James Patrick Kelly, and Kelly Link,
and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni
Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their
editorial reviews are archived on the workshop.  Go to the "Read,
Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices."

Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!

Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
THE TORONTO BOOK--post 5 by Leah Bobet

Leah Bobet has created a breezy and entertaining urban fantasy with
dynamic characters and detailed real-world setting. Fans of Charles de
Lint and Emma Bull are sure to enjoy this story. I especially like the
high drama of the initial conflict mixed with the interpersonal pains of
Marti and her brother. The magical elements are layered in a nice way;
they feel natural to the setting and I'm drawn along the plot-train in a
comfy chair.

In post 5, titled "In the Game" (the titles for the sections are a fun
addition), the narrator and her acquaintances--I don't really feel they
are friends--are about to face Montreal bikers with magical powers.
Bill, the hockey player ghost, calls it "going to war" and the
confrontation is set against a hockey game. Or perhaps war is the
metaphor for the hockey game. If the writer is doing a good job, the
reader does not necessarily have to know anything about the particular
subject to be swept up in the drama. Bobet does a very good job
describing the action of the hockey game and the effects it has on her
characters.

Not knowing much about Canada's hockey teams only tripped me when the
Habs show up and their leader, Rocket, is compared to Maurice Richard
("The Rocket", a leading player for the Canadiens from the early 1940s
through the late 50s). I would have preferred more contextual
description since I am unfamiliar with the Canadiens and didn't have any
idea what Maurice Richard looked like before googling. I also would have
liked a bit more description when the narrator refers to the
stadium--just a few bits here and there to make this reader feel like
she was sitting right in those seats. I kept wanting to see or feel "the
faults and sins of the Air Canada Centre."

The pacing of this section was solid--it drew me in and I wanted to see
the outcome, but I was thrown off by the purpose of this post. The
growing menace drew me past the opening chapters, yet I wasn't able to
tell what the hockey game was supposed to represent. Was it a rivalry
between Toronto and Montreal on a larger, supernatural scale? If one
city lost to another, the winner would receive something from the loser?
The nature of the forfeit was a bit too subtle--perhaps it was explained
in earlier chapters? The narrator, the sole eye-view into the plot, was
as confused as I was, and I'd hoped for clearer explanations by the
conclusion of this section. Having an unreliable narrator can heighten
the tension because readers often know more than the narrator. In this
case, the unreliable narrator has yet to clarify the situation, so the
reader is still wondering about the ultimate importance of the hockey
game and the consequences of losing to the Canadiens.

Having come into this story after the major opening events had occurred,
I wanted a reference to the narrator's name. I know the narrator is a
young woman who works in retail and has a roommate, but throughout this
entire section, I don't know what the narrator's name is or why African
Queen and Rocket think she's so special. She's not a part of African
Queen's group, yet he wants her to be at the meeting at the bar. She
acts as if she's still on the outside, but is needed and has been
convinced she can make a difference. If the narrator's special talent or
reason for being the center of attention hasn't already been hinted at
in early chapters, it should be revealed to the reader soon.

I hope in subsequent chapters, the Habs are shown to be less
stereotypical or that the view of them through the narrator's voice is
given further detail. Generic "thugs" and "bikers" give them a cardboard
exterior, but since Rocket and African Queen are connected, I suspect
there's more to these bikers than the narrator is showing.

Overall, The Toronto Book--post 5 has been an enjoyable read. This
section has some great tension and the plot seems to be moving along
very smoothly. Use care when making references without contextual
details and watch out for generic caricatures. I think Leah Bobet is
headed in the right direction and her story is moving right along.

--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books


Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
DEATH IN VENORA, CHAPTER 2 by Chris Manucy

Already by Chapter Two, Chris has deployed some complex and interesting
worldbuilding.  There is a seeming ecological catastrophe, which may
have caused a desert called the Waste, which in turn has created certain
political realities between the states of Eloda and Venora.  As we learn
in this chapter, the secret history of the Waste may have a direct
impact on the politics of the Elodan mission to Venora.

But this is all backdrop to the tortured relationship of Josephine and
her father Gus, which is nicely unsettling at the start of the chapter
and utterly horrific by its end.  The arc is developed skillfully: we
see Gus's "rows of white teeth" and then a false insouciance which turns
nasty in a mere five paragraphs.  "He took her chin in one hand,
searched her face. 'Is that all?'"  Later we learn that she is afraid to
intercede with her father on behalf of one of his workers.   In a
particularly chilling moment, Gus seems to mistake Josephine for her
mother, who would appear to be either dead or well out of the picture.
Finally there comes a confrontation which builds effectively.
"'Josephine.'" His voice was like branch breaking. Turning around, just
slow enough she appeared casual, not so slowly she appeared hesitant,
'Yes, father.'"  We see that Josephine is walking on eggshells, and not
long after we learn why.  "His fist slammed down on the table, making
the dishes jump. ... 'Don't play me for the fool,' snarled Gus. He
grabbed her wrist and lifted her hand to her face so she was forced to
see the discolored bruises."  When Josephine summons the emotional
strength to confront her father about what the reader surmises is his
longstanding sexual abuse, the mask of paternal civility slips off
entirely: "The sound that issued from him sounded more like a howl than
words. 'Impudent bitch!' She was thrust backward as he rose up. A heavy
punch landed her on the floor; she cracked her head against the tile.
Lights danced, throbbing in her head as she felt another impact to her
stomach."

This is vivid writing and wonderful scene-making but I worry that Chris
may have set too frantic a pace too early in her novel.  This is, after
all, just Chapter Two. It may be merely a matter of my own taste, but I
wonder how much more narrative value can be wrung out of escalating
Gus's depraved relationship with his daughter.  Show me too much of this
and you will soon desensitize me; continue after that and I may well
turn away.  If we are to read more of this particular plot arc, it
should come only after intervening events have given us a chance to
catch our breath.

Which brings me to the other major plot arc on display here: Josephine's
attempts to find her place in her socially stratified school.  I must
say that this plot has not yet gripped me, in part because there is so
much less at stake in comparison with the Josephine-Gus plot.
Josephine has been set the task of becoming a kind of spy for her
father, trying to ferret information about Elodan intentions from two of
the younger members of their mission, Grogan and Vehemn.  Complicating
this is the fact that Josephine seems to have genuine feelings for
Grogan.  At this point the reader is not entirely sure how they are
reciprocated.   Nevertheless, their relationship seems flat in this
draft; neither chilly enough nor passionate enough.  It needs to be
messier; each of them seems too much in control.  Of course, there are
good reasons for Josephine to protect her emotions and Grogan probably
has to be careful not to reveal Elodan secrets, but they should slip up
on occasion and say more than they ought to.  My recommendation would be
to punch the Josephine-Grogan relationship up, even though I get the
sense that Vehemn may ultimately be the more important character in this
tale.  And if this is so, then I congratulate Chris on her skill at
misdirection.  Josephine seems so focused on Grogan that she hardly sees
Vehemn, even though he is given a significant scene.

Oh, and what's the story with the Elodan girls?  This inquiring reader
wants to know--big time.  Chris plants a most excellent teaser about
this toward the end of Josephine's scene with Vehemn.

All in all, this project is progressing nicely on the evidence of
Chapter Two.  I hope Chris can keep the incest plot from taking over the
book and continue to explore the social and political implications of
the worldbuilding.  Press on, Chris!

--James Patrick Kelly
Author of STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER and THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
http://www.jimkelly.net


Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"The Drinkers" by Mike Dumas

"The Drinkers" plays off of a fairly common basic plot, that of
humans coming to tragedy as a result of misunderstanding alien
customs, but turns it in to a engaging and highly readable story.  It
achieves this mainly through strong portrayal of the two human
characters, Ilaine Corley and Leo Sadat.  Leo in particular is very
clearly drawn: the charismatic anthropologist who apparently gets off
on his own position of power and likes to dabble with "going native."
Ilaine herself is less vibrant a character, but her voice as the
narrator is used to good effect in outlining the ambivalent nature of
her relationship with Leo.

That ambivalence was, for me, one of the most interesting
parts of the story.  By the time that story takes place, Ilaine no
longer likes or trusts Leo, but their past relationship (both
personal and professional) has left her with enough of a base of
admiration and attraction that, when he offers her the frizzleaf tea
on the last night of the Iguul festival, she fails to question his
motives or notice that the drink is drugged.  I thought it played
very true to Leo's character that he would offer Ilaine up for the
sacrifice and not feel any sense of remorse about it.  The fact that
it's Leo who ends up being eviscerated by the Iguul could very easily
have been played as straightforward (and uninteresting) kind of
cosmic justice, but it's saved from feeling cheap by the fact the
Ilaine herself takes no pleasure from it.

I have to admit that I'm not particularly taken with the
story's opening line.  It's dramatic and attention-grabbing, but it's
out of tone with the rest of the story, and more importantly, it's
not really an accurate description of Leo.  As he's portrayed in the
rest of the story, he isn't much of a hero, poet, or madman.  He's a
charismatic jackass who emotionally and sexually manipulates his
subordinates and is brought to his eventual downfall through acts of
unadulterated ego.  Even in the frame of mind that Ilaine is in at
the story's close, where she admits that it's already difficult to
remember what was bad about Leo, it's difficult to believe that she
would ever call him a hero.

The writing in this story is very evocative, so much so that
it took two or three read-throughs of the piece before I realized
that I didn't really have a good sense of what the Iguul are like.
It's good that the Iguul culture is left a little sketchy; Ilaine
mentions in more than one place that some of the Iguul social customs
and rituals are too distant from human experience to really be
understood, and I like that the aliens are kept alien in this
context.

My concern was less with the obscurity of the Iguul
society, which the narrator doesn't understand, and more with their
appearance, which the narrator should be perfectly capable of
describing.  They're "roach-eyed" and "hulking," they have neck
frills, they have leathery skin, they're physically strong, they move
very quickly, they reproduce by budding and the buds appear on their
backs, they have throats that "take the place of teeth and tongue,"
and they have talons on their hands.  That, in combination with some
indicators that they're bipedal, is everything the story gives us
about the Iguul physical form.  The best I can come up with is that
they're a bit like monitor lizards that can stand on their rear legs,
but the bits about both the throats and the buds are still confusing
to me.  The lack of a visual image of the aliens didn't bother me
until I started scrutinizing the story more closely, and goodness
knows the story is that much the better for not having a
paragraph-long infodump on alien physiology, so maybe this isn't
really a problem, but it's something that the author might want to
look into.  Especially in light of the dramatic importance given to
the scene of Leo's death, I think some readers would be helped by
having more coherent visual cues.

While I felt the visuals on the Iguul were done too subtly,
in general I think this story benefits a great deal from the author's
light hand with exposition.  For this reason, though, I found
Ilaine's conversation with Catryn in the final section to be
disappointing.  Overall this was a smart story that trusted its
readers to be smart, but the overt explanation of the cumulative
evolutionary effect of the Drinking seemed a little out of place.
Leaving aside the fact that such overt exposition is jarring in the
context of the rest of the piece, its placement in the final section
makes the evolutionary argument feel like the real point of the
story, when my feeling is that the story is much stronger if it keeps
the human interaction as the center-stage focus.  It should only
require some minimal edits to downplay the explanations, and doing so
will keep the reader's attention focused on the true heart of the
story.

--Susan Marie Groppi
Fiction Editor/Editor-in-Chief, _Strange Horizons_
http://www.strangehorizons.com


Editor's Choice, Horror:

Due to technical difficulties, aka Ellen dropping the ball, there is
no horror EC this month.  Our apologies!


| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews.  After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!

If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.

The Honor Roll will show all May nominations beginning June 1.
Here are some advance highlights from the May honor roll:

Reviewer:  Pete Rauschal
Submission:  RIFTWORLD: ICE AGE EDEN by  Michael Goodwind
Submitted by: Michael Goodwind
Nominator's Comments: Pete is yet another awesome reviewer.  Like Travis
Blair, he is always there for me, inspiring me and giving positive
energy each and every time.  My heartfelt thanks, Pete.

Reviewer: Ruth Nestvold
Submission: VENETIA--THE END  by dena landon
Submitted by: dena landon
Nominator's Comments: Ruth jumped in at the middle of the novel but kept
right up, following it to the end.  Both her nitpicks and her major
comments were extremely helpful, as was her advice on places where I
could flesh out scenes/conflict.  Not to mention adding setting!  I
really appreciated the thoughtfulness and thoroughness of her reviews.

Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during April include: Kathryn
Allen (5), Jake Bartolone, Elizabeth Bear, Brad Beaulieu, Steve
Bergstrom, Travis Blair, Jennifer Broekman, Aaron Brown (2), C. Scavella
Burrell (3), Sam Butler (2), Greg Byrne, Joshua Canete, Scott Clements,
Linda Dicmanis, Mike Dumas, Deva Fagan (3), Mike Farrell (3), Bonnie
Freeman, Kyri Freeman, cathy freeze, Kim Gonzalez, Michael Goodwind (3),
Christine Hall, Penelope Hardy, Craig Hickman (2), Marianne Keesee, Luke
Kendall, Melinda Kimberly, Leonid Korogodski, Keong L (5), damselfly m
(2), chris manucy, Helen Mazarkis (3), Jodi Meadows, Trey Nix, Andre
Oosterman, Jon Paradise, larry Payne, David Reagan, John Dale Renton,
Joseph Roberts, Keith Robinson, John Schoffstall, Carol Seck, Randy
Simpson, Gene Spears, Michael Staton, Tracey Stewart, John Tremlett,
Christopher Upshaw, Tony Valiulis (2), Laura Waesche.

We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in March can be still found until May 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml


| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a line
at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good news to
share.

Jennifer Michaels, editor at _Flash Me_, wrote the following message to
the workshop mailing list: The April issue of _Flash Me Magazine_ is now
out!! This issue is HUGE! We have FOURTEEN stories in this issue, and
SIX of the authors are members of OWW!!

Check out these stories by fellow OWWers:

"Snake Oil" by Wendy S. Delmater ***FEATURE STORY***
"Too Many Mistakes" by Mark Fewell
"For You" by Deb Atwood
"Class Ring" by Roger McCook
"Snowdragon" by Elizabeth Bennett Porco
and "Conquering All" by R E Kelleher

And there are plenty of other stories to read, too.  Visit us at:
http://flash.to/flashme


Sales and Publications:

Nigel Atkinson's short story "The Interstellar Public Health Inspector"
appears in the May 2004 issue of _Deep Magic_
(http://www.deep-magic.net). He tells us "This has been around for a
while and was reviewed in the workshop. It was a while back, but I
remember former members Bob Allen and Donna Johnstone made many useful
comments."

Wendy Delmater sold "Heat Sink" to _Abyss & Apex_
(http://www.abyssandapex.com). She sends her "Thanks to all you
wonderful critters out there. You all rock."

The ever-modest S. Evans emitted only a smallish woohoo at selling her
story "Sea Bride" to _Parageography_.

Mark Fewell is a publishing machine. His workshopped story "Too Many
Mistakes" is up at _Flash Me_
(http://www.angelfire.com/biz5/authors/mag/mistakes.html) and his
Editor's Choice story "Somewhere The Banshee Is Screaming" may be read
at _AlienSkin_ (http://www.alienskinmag.com/ffictionFantas4.htm).

Kyri Freeman has a story up in the current issue of _Abyss & Apex_
(http://www.abyssandapex.com) but she didn't tell us what it was.  Our
awesome powers of detection have determined that it's called "Swansong."

Bret Ludwig wrote us, "After three years and a novel and a half, I've
finally seen my first short story published. 'The Archer and the Dove'
is in May's issue of _Deep Magic_ (http://www.Deep-Magic.net). This was
workshopped about a year ago. Thanks go who all who reviewed it, in
particular to Helen Mazarakis for serious help with nits and assistance
with the characterization of a supporting character. Cynthia Cloughly
and Derek Molata didn't review this piece but have my undying gratitude
for their previous reviews that enlightened me as to what exactly a
passive sentence is. And THANKS to the staff at OWW for keeping this
site going! I never would have gotten anywhere with my writing without
this resource."  You're more than welcome, Bret.

chance m, otherwise known as Catherine M. Morrison, recently had her
workshopped story "Elvis in the Attic" published at _Sci Fiction_
(http://www.scifi.com/scifiction/originals/originals_archive/morrison/
morris on1.html).

Martin McGrath sold his story "Falling" (originally entitled "A Trip on
Miranda") to _Jupiter SF_.  He says it's "my fourth sale but my first
actual print sale--a story I'll be able to hold in my hand! Cool!
Around two and a half years ago the following people reviewed the story
and helped improve it vastly, so thanks to: ChristaCarol Orris, Kyri
Freeman, Glen Chapman, Dan Vekhter, Robin Holmes, Rhonda S Garcia,
Elizabeth Bear, Joshua Munce, MT Reiten, Ou Shidian, Ken Scott, Glen
Campbell, David Reagan."

Ruth Nestvold's story "Shadow Memory" can be found in the latest
_MarsDust_ (http://www.marsdust.com/shadow_memory_nestvold.htm). Thanks
to editor Steve Nagy for the heads up!  Steve has a review of Gregory
Benford's IN THE OCEAN OF NIGHT in the same issue
(http://www.marsdust.com/benford.htm).

Kenneth Rapp's first story sale "Dead is Dead" is now up at _Alien Skin_
(http://www.alienskinmag.com/ffictionhorror3.htm). He says "Yay!"

Karen Swanberg's first published story, "Last Launch," may be read at
_Flashshot_ (http://flashshot.tripod.com/secret.htm). Congrats!

M. Thomas informs us: "My site, Found Things, made it onto the _Writer's
Digest_ list of 101 Best Websites for Writers for 2004.  The listing is
here:
http://www.writersdigest.com/101sites/categorysearch.asp?year_101=2004
And I was just starting to wonder about the sudden jump in subscribers
to my newsletter.  :) "

Mikal Trimm sold "Laugh, Clown, Laugh" to the latest incarnation of
Christopher Rowe's "SAY..." series (_Say...Why Aren't We Crying?_). He
reports that it was his twentieth sale, which is a nice landmark. He
also sold "With Stealth and Grace the Hunter Roams" to the new
Texas-themed 'zine _Lone Star Stories_ (Number 21), along with a couple
poems. "What can I do?" he said about that one. "I live in Texas!"

Ray Walshe just made his first short story sale ever, to _Neo-opsis_!
"Legacy Troll" was workshopped on the OWW. He sends special thanks to
Carlos-Jimenez Cortez, Kevin Miller, Kevin Raybould, William Monahan,
Ian Morrison, Julie Nordeen, and Zvi Zacks.


| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |

Number of members as of 5/20:  673 paying, 85 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 623
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 82.7%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 2.7%

Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 5.57
Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 607.53

Number of submissions in April: 521
Number of reviews in April: 3315
Ratio of reviews/submissions in April: 6.36
Estimated average word count per review in April: 621.50

Number of submissions in May to date: 218
Number of reviews in May to date: 993
Ratio of reviews/submissions in May to date: 4.56
Estimated average word count per review in May to date: 641.35

Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 17 (2.7% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 0
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 12
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 5


| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |


Got a helpful tip for your fellow members?  A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission?  Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter.  Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.

Until next month -- just write!

The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com

| - - Copyright 2004 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |

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