O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, Augst 2004
W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
W | Become a better writer!
| - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
- Workshop News:
Worldcon in Boston
Clarion 2005
T-shirts, buttons, and thanks
Workshop focus chats
September writing challenge
Membership payment information
- Editors' Choices for June submissions
- Reviewer Honor Roll
- Publication Announcements
- Workshop Statistics
- Tips & Feedback
| - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
This month's sales and publications includes a Writers of the Future
winner, a couple novels, and sales to magazines new and old, including
_Rosebud_, _On Spec_, and _Strange Horizons_ among others. Check it
out!
WORLDCON IN BOSTON!
James Stevens-Arce writes: "Here's my current list of OWWers who have
said they plan to be at Worldcon Sept. 2- 6, 2004. Please let me know
if your name is missing or if it should be added to the list:
"Kathryn Allen, Adrienne Allman, Deb Atwood, Nina Bean, Elizabeth
Bear, Pedar and Beverly Bloom, Leah Bobet, Hannah Bowen, Bonnie
Brunish, Chris Clarke, Chris Coen, Laurie Davis, Wendy S. Delmater,
Stella Evans, Tom Grady, Tamara Siler Jones, Melinda Kimberly, Leonid
Korogodski, Karin Lowachee, Helen Mazarakis*, Mike the Janitor and his
Beautiful Bevy of Serendipitous Bats, Katherine Miller, Mel Mercer,
Kelly Morisseau, Chance Morrison, Steve Nagy, Julie Nordeen, Jon
Paradise, Nancy Proctor, Benjamin Rosenbaum, Clarissa Ryan*, Marsha
Sisolak, Jenni Smith-Gaynor, James Stevens-Arce, Jaime Voss."
Many of those workshoppers can be found on panels and at signings, so
check your programs! For more information on Worldcon, go to the
official website at: http://www.mcfi.org/
CLARION 2005
Long-time workshop member and current workshop admin Charles Coleman
Finlay will be teaching at the Clarion Writing Workshop next summer,
where he follows in the footsteps of some of OWW's resident editors.
For more information, see:
http://www.msu.edu/~clarion/writerinfo/05writerinfo/05writerinfo.html
T-SHIRTS, BUTTONS, AND THANKS!
So here's the deal. We're thinking about printing up some more
OWW-SFFH T-shirts, and/or making some OWW buttons. The shirts have the
logo and workshop name on the front, and workshop name and URL along
with "Just Write!" on the back. They are all cotton and would be $20
shipped in the US. 20% of the $20 for the t-shirts ($4 per shirt) will
go to the workshop scholarship fund! Shirts would be ready by
WorldCon.
After asking in last month's newsletter, we received enough emails of
interest in these that we're thinking about moving forward. If anyone
else wants to be added to the T-shirt list, e-mail us at workshop support: support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com or
support(at)sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com -- thanks!
WORKSHOP FOCUS CHATS
Pen Hardy sent out this note: "We have no further focus chats
scheduled at this time, and so will begin a hiatus of at least a week
and see what comes up. Thanks for everyone's help and interest in the
focus chats over the last year and a half."
SEPTEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE
This came in to the mailing list from Jodi Meadows:
The Challenge Dictator rides in on the unicorn-ferret-drawn chariot
she forgot to use last month, tossing out gold and silver coin,
dollars, pounds, and pennies. "Hear ye, hear ye. September's challenge shall be...."
--Drum roll--
"Money!"
The unicorn-ferrets pull the chariot away....
For more details on the challenges, check the Challenge home page at:
(http://www.thermeon.net/checkered/Challenge.html).
MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION
How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or
money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though
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(www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S.
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and some post offices). If none of those options work for you, you
can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us
about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services).
Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership
for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you
like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift
is anonymous or not. We will acknowledge receipt to you and the
member. Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to
fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for
certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not
allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves.
Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know
that many members feel that it's worth much more to them. So here's
your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee.
For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award
us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus
payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip
for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen
the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running!
For more information:
Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml
Bonus payments and information about our company:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml
Price comparisons:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml
| - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous
month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of
our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F,
horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be
educational for others as well as the author.
Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and
instructors Jeanne Cavelos, James Patrick Kelly, and Kelly Link, and
by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni Smith-Gaynor.
The last four months of Editors' Choices and their editorial reviews
are archived on the workshop. Go to the "Read, Rate, Review" page and
click on "Editors' Choices."
Congratulations to this month's Editors' Choice authors!
Editor's Choice, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter:
A LAMENTATION OF SWANS by Debra Youngs
The first chapter of Debra Youngs' A LAMENTATION OF SWANS has the
potential to be quite good, but there are places that could use
polishing. Strengthening the point of view (POV), clarifying the
focus, and heightening tension would help make this opening chapter
sizzle.
Candalas, a minstrel who stumbles upon the lifeless body of a woman,
is the first character we see. We're told all sorts of interesting
details about the body, about the woman's "allure," about Candalas'
suspicions about a nearby killer, but the tension is lost in the
lengthy and distancing exposition. With so much unnecessary detail
weighing down the scene, I never felt any danger despite Young telling
me that "... her killer might still be near." The fear that Candalas
unexpectedly feels in the 3rd paragraph seems forced and does nothing
to further the story. The situation is very plain: a minstrel finds
the body of a dead woman who appears to be of nobility and was killed
with a weapon only the aristocracy is allowed to wield. The rest of
the opening is bogged down by flowery descriptions that would better
serve the story from the point of view of the minstrel.
Moving the point of view to a tight or limited 3rd person would help
the reader get inside the minstrel's mind, would view the unfolding
conflict colored through Candalas' perceptions. Right now, I'm being
told this story rather than shown it, and the overwritten descriptions
of nearly everything detracts from what's important. By using a
limited POV, the character is able to lead the reader through the
action and does not have to note or describe everything. Another
technique might be to simply keep it simple. Stay with an omniscient
narrator, but keep the descriptions brief. Show the reader only what
is necessary to keep the focus on what's important.
The momentary fear of the lurking killer and the suspicious constable
feel forced. Instead of the constable thinking the minstrel is the
killer, why not use the constable as a means to help show some of the
world for the reader? Or develop the world and situation further to
give the constable a more intriguing reason for suspecting the bard.
We're set up to think that Candalas has visited this area before and
is known to the priest. The minstrel goes to the village seeking help,
but we don't see a reason why he would require aid. What's missing
from the opening of this novel is tension -- there's no immediate
conflict. Develop in more detail the Candalas' character, his
relationship with the priest or village, and the groundwork for the
book's overarching conflict instead of introducing Gaius. Save the
introduction of the dead woman's husband and his family for the next
chapter.
I liked the way Candalas used his instrument when confronted by
Constable O. I'd like to see more of this used -- it will really flesh
out the character and can be a great distinguishing detail. But keep
the character's personality tone consistent. There were moments when
he was sparring with Constable O that seemed to veer off towards the
comedic. If this is the intention, then the character and tone of the
novel should reflect this. If it's meant as a ruse or if Candalas uses
it as a tool, then develop it further and with purpose.
I think there are some interesting pieces here: the world seems to
have some nice layers, the characters -- with work -- seem to be
likeable, and I enjoy a good murder mystery. Stay focused on what's
important, keep the flowery descriptions only for the things that
require attention, and consider using the tight or limited 3rd person
point of view to help show the world and characters more intimately.
--Jenni Smith-Gaynor
Former editor, Del Rey Books
Editor's Choice, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter:
WORLDWIRED, POST SIX by Elizabeth Bear
Once upon a time at the Sycamore Hill Writers Workshop, we used to
play a game which involved reading aloud page 117 from various
published novels. I must confess that my memory here might be a tad
off. It might have been page 113, or page 119 or some such -- but
page 117 will do for our purposes here. The point of the game was for
the group to try to make some sense of the novel from reading just the
one page and then come to a consensus decision as to whether the whole
novel was worth a look. Of course, we had no hope of parsing the
plot, so the question came down to fundamentals. Could the author
write sentences? Could she block a scene? Did her characters speak
the common tongue? Sometimes the ensuing discussion/critique was
serious, sometimes raucous.
I mention this only because commenting on Elizabeth Bear's Post Six of
WORLDWIRED reminds me of the Page 117 Game. Elizabeth offers no clue
as to where this selection falls in her novel, but clearly so much
plot has already transpired at this point in the narrative that I'd be
hard pressed to attempt to summarize exactly what's going on.
Nevertheless, I read this excerpt with pleasure. Here is a novel that
is clearly destined for publication. The language is taut, the
characters deep and the scenes positively crackle with energy. Not to
mention that this is real science fiction, friends, with rescues from
crippled starships and exploration of mysterious alien artifacts and
international diplomatic brinksmanship between spacefaring powers
China and Canada. Yes, ~Canada~!
I count three different plot threads working through three different
POVs here in the span of thirteen single-spaced pages. Fast-moving
POV shifts present a dual challenge. First, the writer must make sure
that the reader continually kept up to speed with developments in all
threads. Second, the writer must strive to make all POVs of
approximately equal interest. Nothing annoys readers more than cutting
away from the climatic battle scene to revisit the secretary who is
typing out boring reports while thinking about reheating leftover
meatloaf for supper. Elizabeth manages reader interest here with
aplomb. I especially invite your attention to the way she ends each
of her four scenes: the first with a mystery, the second with a
threat, the third with a collision and the last with the sound of an
alarm. Trust me on this: you're not going to nod off reading this
page turner!
If I were to offer any quibble here, it would be with the scene
between the Prime Ministers of China and Canada. Not that they are at
all unbelievable as characters, although I do find it just a little
odd that Constance Riel is not as tough with her Chinese counterpart
as she is with her political rival in the last scene. When I read
that "She was as giddy as a girl waiting for her prom date, and it
wasn't going to serve her to any advantage if she didn't get the
adrenaline under control" just before the interview with Prime
Minister Hsiung begins, my faith in her as a politician flickered
briefly. But let that go, since she redeems herself thoroughly later
on. No, I just kept wondering while these two heads of state sparred
on the brink of war if what was on the page was what they'd actually
be saying to each other. I have no idea what goes on behind closed
doors when George W. Bush has a "frank and open discussion" with
Chinese Premier Zhu Rongji, but I suspect that it is not quite so
precise and dramatic. But this may be my problem alone: I am always a
little dubious about literary kings and presidents.
But, as I say, a quibble. This is just great, Elizabeth; it easily
passes the Page 117 test. Press on!
--James Patrick Kelly
Author of STRANGE BUT NOT A STRANGER and THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
http://www.jimkelly.net
Editor's Choice, Short Story:
"The Bridge" by Nigel Read
Nigel Read's story about a nano-enhanced woman interacting with a
less technological culture is a well-written story that suffers
slightly from a lack of background and context. It's a difficult
line to walk; overall I would say that the author has very skillfully
managed to get across both backstory and a sense of place without
engaging in explicit expository passages, but there's still some room
for improvement.
To a large extent, Read has taken advantage of several narrative
conventions that should be familiar to genre audiences. The opening
paragraphs have several small but significant markers that indicate
to readers that the story is set in a rural or semi-primitive
culture. The capitalization of "the River" is one such marker, as is
the use of the word "healer" rather than "doctor" and Jeska's
immediate assumption that Amy, because of the road she has taken in
to Two Bridges, must have come from Bustle. That signals to the
reader that this is a small village in an area populated mainly by
other small villages, and furthermore, that the villages don't have
frequent contact with each other. When Amy introduces herself as
"Amy Rogers" but is then referred to as "Amyrogers", that's another
signal to the reader, this one saying that Amy, whoever she is, isn't
from this world. The cultural setting is expanded very well in the
rest of the story, but it was nice to see it sketched out with such a
light touch so early in the piece.
As I said earlier, the author has overall done a good job of setting
a complex story without too much by way of infodumping. When Amy
tells Lisbeth (and, by extension, the reading audience) about the
nano-machines, it feels relatively natural within the context of the
story. Amy and Lisbeth's relationship also feels natural within the
context of the story; it's difficult to put across any real sense of
character growth in seven or eight thousand words, but the transition
from friends to lovers was handled gently enough (especially when
combined with Amy's sets of overlapping memories of past selves and
past relationships) that it should be easy for a reader to see it as
based on genuine affection rather than just convenience.
The transitions and information reveals within the story are fluid
enough, in fact, to temporarily distract from what I see as either
inconsistencies or gaps in the story's basic concepts and settings.
The flood markers mentioned in the opening scene are apparently
supposed to convey date information, setting the story around
approximately 2300 AD. This is presumably the year 2300 as measured
in our calendar, putting this story about three hundred years in our
own future, in a culture descended from our own but severely degraded
as a result of the Plague. Amy's nano-machines come from before the
Plague, and by Lisbeth's accounting the Plague was hundreds of years
ago. It's not necessary to include a lot of information about the
Plague and its effects, and in fact too much information would
distract from the story being told, but I do have to wonder why
society hasn't developed technology past the point we see in this
story.
My final plot-related problem concerns the nano-machines themselves.
This piece draws on genre narrative conventions in order to avoid
having to spend too much energy (or wordcount) on explaining basic
concepts, and in general that's a good thing to do. Using narrative
conventions in that way, though, means that you either have to work
within the parameters of what's commonly understood about those
concepts and conventions or you have to explain where you've departed
from expectation. In the case of nanotechnology, one of the things
that science fiction readers are going to assume about nano-machines
is that they self-replicate. Even if you aren't assuming that the
machines are designed to endlessly self-replicate (as was done to
death in earlier waves of "nano-machines will take over the world"
stories), the way nanotechnology is commonly understood to work will
by default involve some degree of self-replication.
In this particular story, the fact that the machines could create the
"memory organ" and its protective structure in each new host implies
some degree of self-replication ability. This may seem like a strange
point to highlight, but it's a central one in the context of this
story, since the dramatic climax of the piece involves Amy's decision
to send the machines (and memories) into Lisbeth. The dramatic
tension that drives this story is predicated on there being only one
set of nanomachines, one set than cannot be divided and cannot
reproduce itself. I found that to be surprising enough to throw me
out of the narrative flow, and I imagine that's a problem that will be
common to many science fiction readers.
--Susan Marie Groppi
Fiction Editor/Editor-in-Chief, _Strange Horizons_
http://www.strangehorizons.com
Editor's Choice, Horror:
"It's All in the Mind" by Maura McHugh
This is a really tough story to write, because so much of it is
internal. I think you succeed better than most. I like the way you
throw us right into the action and allow us to figure things out as we
go. Readers like figuring things out, rather than having everything
explained to them, so that's good. You also have some nice
descriptions of the mental conflict, such as "I shrink into myself and
flail against the empty spaces in my mind where my defenses used to
be" and "Karl claws at the memory, drags it back and forth, and
examines it from all angles." In both of these cases, you are
effectively comparing internal sensations to external actions, which
helps us imagine what they are like. The idea of the blitzkrieg is
cool, and the idea that "everything begins in the mind" is
interesting. I actually think that line should open the story.
I do feel a number of areas in the story are weak, though. Some of
your descriptions are not as effective as the ones I quoted above, and
often you resort to telling rather than showing, which keeps us at a
distance. Filtering also distances us from the action. And I'm
afraid that since you throw us in at the climax of the story, I don't
really feel much for either Claire or Karl, so I can't feel very much
at the end. There's also the big problem with these sorts of mental
duel stories, which is that the outcome often seems random. I'll
discuss each of these briefly below.
-- Sometimes the descriptions you use of the mental sensations are
inappropriate, contradictory, or unclear. For example, in the third
paragraph you say, "Their spidery voices tap across my mind," while in
the fourth paragraph you say, "they spin." Tapping and spinning are
two different things, and they send me contradictory signals, leaving
me with no clear impression.
-- Much of the description is given through telling rather than
showing. I've discussed this in previous critiques so won't belabor
it here, but showing involves giving concrete sensory details, while
telling involves using abstractions. The two descriptions I quoted in
my first paragraph are showing. The following are telling: "Impotent
rage at my weakness rises from my gut," "He is rotten with desire and
jealousy," and "it seems to last a week." When you tell, you are
keeping the reader at a distance from events. The reader is unable to
experience the events herself, but instead is receiving a second-hand
report. So when you're describing anything of importance, you want to
use mostly showing.
-- You use a lot of filtering, which further distances us. Filtering
is when you establish the means of perception of something, saying, in
first person present tense, "I see," "I hear," "I feel." On p. 3,
filtering dominates a key passage: "I see Karl punch my face, I see
him lock me in isolation with no food and the ghosts for company for a
week, I see him rape me." We should be feeling these things as if
they are actually happening, and feel them with a horrible intensity.
Instead, we are very far from events--we are seeing the narrator
looking at these things, rather than simply seeing these things
directly.
-- It's hard to sympathize with Claire when we're spending most of the
story just working to figure out what's going on. This is the problem
of throwing us in at the climax, and usually this doesn't work (which
is why most stories build up to the climax through several crises).
I can see you are trying to create a short, intense piece, but because
the mental powers are unknown, the rules by which they function are
unknown, the world is unknown, the characters are unknown, and the
plot is unknown, this creates a huge burden on you to establish many
things quickly, without taking us away from the climax. I think I end
up with a fairly good idea of the plot, the world, and some idea of
how the mental powers work, but I don't feel you convey a strong sense
of Claire's character other than that she's a victim and mainly good.
I don't get a sense of her as an individual (nor of Karl), and that
prevents deep emotional involvement in the story. Because this is
mainly an internal story, I think you want it to be emotional, and I
think expanding the story more could really help. As is, I don't
really understand the significance of Claire biting off Karl's tongue
or what symbols she's painting on her body. I feel like I've missed
the first half of the story.
-- The outcome feels random to me, which means that it feels
manipulated by the author rather than arising out of the characters
and the situation. I don't know why Claire turns out being more
powerful than Karl. It seems that just as easily Karl could dig deep
down and find more power, and could beat Claire. You need to somehow
plant ideas and characteristics earlier in the story that make the
outcome feel surprising but inevitable. We didn't know Claire would
win, but once she does, we realize this is the right and only outcome,
and how she does it is the only way it could have happened. For
example, when Rocky Balboa fights Apollo Creed, and Rocky, an unknown
loser, is able to go the distance, we accept this as the right outcome
because we've seen Rocky train, and we know that while he doesn't have
refined skills, he has heart and determination, and those qualities
allow him to keep getting up after Apollo knocks him down. We've also
seen Apollo goofing off in his training, expecting an easy knock-out,
which again makes the ending seem right. In your case, since we're
kind of missing the first half of the story, we're missing the part
where you would establish these things.
I think if you expand the story, build up some of these elements, and
remove some of the distance, the story could be very powerful. I hope
these comments are helpful. I enjoyed reading the story.
--Jeanne Cavelos
http://www.odysseyworkshop.org/
| - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who
have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes
the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little
well-earned recognition!
If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer
to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form
-- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor
Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml.
Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar
month.
The Honor Roll will show all August nominations beginning September 1.
Here are two advance highlights from August:
Reviewer: Roger McCook
Submission: Jury Dury (5945 words) by Kenneth Rapp
Submitted by: arlene foster
Nominator's Comments: I liked his remarks and agreed with his
diagnosis. Although a lot of science fiction leaves me feeling like
I'm missing something that everyone else must be getting. So maybe we
the author jumped from one POV to another on purpose.
Reviewer: Martha Knox
Submission: An Alien Spirit by Larry Pinaire
Submitted by: Larry Pinaire
Nominator's Comments: Marth took a story that I thought was finished
and breathed new life into it by convincing me that it needed a
re-write and gave me the insights to do so. Thanks again to her.
Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during July include:
Reviewer: A.P. Agill (3), Mads Birkvig, Aaron Brown (3), Rae Carson,
David Emanuel, Deva Fagan, Mike Farrell (2), Mark Fewell, Adrian
Peter Firth (3), cathy freeze, Ray Gonzalez, Melinda Goodin, Michael
Goodwind (2), karen gross, Jeanne Haskin, elizabeth hull, Kevin
Kibelstis, Leonid Korogodski (2), Len Lorentz, chris manucy, Heather
Marshall (3), Holly McDowell (2), Maura McHugh, Ian Morrison, David St
Germain, Bill Snodgrass, Tracey Stewart, Keby Thompson, Jaime Voss,
nancy wiest,
We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations
received in July can be still found until September 1 at:
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml
| - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a
line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good
news to share.
Sales and Publications:
James Allison doesn't know we're reporting it here, but his story "We
Sing the Body Dysmorphic" appears in the recent issue of _Fortean
Bureau_ (http://www.forteanbureau.com).
Triple treat: Melissa Alsgaard sold "With Bread & Blood, I Sought You"
to _Star*Line_ and "Voyeurs" to _Dark Krypt_. She sends "thanks to
all who offered insight on my 'Bread & Blood,' especially Roger
McCook, to whom I am always indebted, and Craig Hickman, whose
comments were exactly on target." She also sold "Moon Flowers and Red
Linen" to _Brutarian Quarterly_: "Although it wasn't workshopped here,
the invaluable support I've received from workshoppers in my fiction
must be leaking into my poetry."
The train they call Elizabeth Bear keeps on rolling. Her short story
"Two Dreams on Trains" just sold to _Strange Horizons_
(http://www.strangehorizons.com). The story was a May '03 Blood
Challenge and won an EC last year when it was workshopped as "The
Train they call the City." She sends her thanks out to Kelly Link for
the EC review. "Other thanks go to: Seth McNally, Siobhan Carroll,
Rhonda S. Garcia, Simon Siddall, Linda Dicmanis, Kevin Kibelstis,
John Schoffstall, Kevin Jones, John Tremlett, Stella Evans, Mel
Melcer, Heather Williams, Larry West, Mike Dwyer, Laura Waesche, Dan
Strong, Megan Crewe, and the wonderful Kathryn Allen. And Kenneth
Woods and Penelope Hardy, who answered my endless questions about
living in the Big Easy."
"Midnights on the Bloor Viaduct," a story by the lovely and talented
Leah Bobet, appeared in the Summer 2004 issue of _On Spec_
(http://www.onspec.ca). She also sold them her story "Bliss" for the
upcoming addiction issue. And her story "Displaced Persons" appeared
in the August 2 _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com).
A workshopper, publishing as Cassandra Broderick, has a story up at
_Clean Sheets_ (http://www.cleansheets.com/fiction/broderick_07.14.04.shtml).
A little woohoo! Marlissa Campbell's short-short "Effects of Vampire
Serum on the Longevity of Human Fibroblast Cells Grown In Vitro: The
Laboratory Notebook of Edith A. Brown, Ph.D." is up at Eggplant
Literary Productions Library
(http://www.eggplant-productions.com/library/view.asp?id=55). She
sighs wistfully, "It's a spin off from a longer story that was
workshopped a while back. Now if only I could sell that one...."
And can we have a newsletter without another sale by the incredible S.
Evans? She reports two this time. Her short story "Save What You Can"
was accepted by _Invitations_, an anthology of fiction for YA readers
published by Sam's Dot Press. It's a story about expectations,
fertility, and the places where love and cultural taboos shouldn't
mix. Her novelette "Ex-Libris" sold to _Challenging Destiny_ for
Issue #19. It's a gumshoe-werewolf-cranky-cat-and-wizardry-magical-
realism story, and this is the 14th market that it's been to. She
sends "Many thanks to Bear, Chance, Rhonda Garcia, and Marsha Sisolak,
among others. Both these stories were workshopped extensively."
Charles Coleman Finlay sold his novel THE PRODIGAL TROLL to Pyr, an
imprint of Prometheus Books. It will be released in June 2005. He
workshopped it so many times he owes thanks to a couple dozen
workshoppers, but S. K. S. Perry, Lisa Deguchi, Robert Sinclair,
Marsha Sisolak, and Chance Morrison all deserve extra recognition. He
also sold a collection, WILD THINGS, to Subterranean Press for 2005.
"All the stories in there are workshop grads or workshop-inspired.
Thanks."
We've heard a rumor that Rhonda Garcia was a quarterfinalist in the
Writers of the Future contest a couple quarters back. Rhonda? What's
the story?
Tamara Siler Jones' novel GHOSTS IN THE SNOW is scheduled for release
by Spectra on October 26. She would like to point everyone to the
listing at Clarkesworld Books
(http://www.clarkesworldbooks.com/book_0553587099.html). She has a new
Web site (http://www.tamarasilerjones.com) and will be doing readings
at Worldcon in Boston, Archon in St. Louis, Icon in Cedar Rapids, and
World Fantasy in Tempe. Check your local listings! Her follow-up novel
THREADS OF MALICE is scheduled for release next fall and it, too, is a
gruesome murder mystery featuring Dubric Byerly and his ghosts.
Sandra McDonald sold her vampire story "Last of His Kind" to _Rosebud
Magazine_ (http://www.rsbd.net). It will appear in the Winter 2004
issue, on sale at Borders and Barnes & Noble in the U.S. and Canada.
"This story was workshopped on OWW in May and many thanks to Randy
Simpson, Greg Wachausen, Chris Manucy and Ray Gonzalez for their
comments and suggestions." Her story "Lost and Found" from _Strange
Horizons_ picked up an Honorable Mention in the YEAR'S BEST SCIENCE
FICTION.
Sarah Prineas sold her "heavily workshopped" story "The Red Cross
Knight" to _Cicada_. She sends "a big extra thanks to Charlie for that
one--he gave me an awesome crit, leading me to add another scene which
made it a much stronger story. I also got the best crit evah on that
story from Dan Goss, who wrote it in Chaucerian verse." She also
reports that two of her stories, "Seamstress" from _Realms of Fantasy_
and "The Savage Infant" from _Paradox_, received honorable mention in
THE YEAR'S BEST FANTASY AND HORROR.
Keith Robinson has not one, but two--count 'em, two!--stories in the
August issue of _Alien Skin_. "Blender" is a sci-fi yarn about a
teleportation gone wrong. "Restroom Horror" is an epistolary about a
slimy creature lurking in an unlikely place. He says: "Both these
stories were critted on the OWW, and I'd like to thank Gary Tinnams,
Tom Shafer and Michael Kilgore for their input on 'Blender,' and Gary
Peterson, Gill Ainsworth, Randy Simpson, Roger McCook, Kevin Miller,
Barry Hollander, and Jon Paradise for their help on 'Restroom Horror'
(critted in its former incarnation as 'Missing Staff'). If I missed
anyone, I'd like to thank those critters too!"
Writers of the Future picked John Schoffstall's story "In the Flue" as
its first-place finisher in the second quarter of 2004. It's his first
pro sale! "In the Flue" was a June 2003 Hot Air Challenge story. He
sends "special thanks to those who critted it on OWW, and made it a
better story: Vikki Everson Green, Ruth Nestvold, Leah Corsaro, Jesse
Werner and Debbie Moorhouse."
James Stevens-Arce received a letter from the Nicholl Fellowships in
Screenwriting advising him that his screenplay "Sins of the Heart" is
one of only 323 out of 6,073 to make the quarterfinals. The Nicholl is
run by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (the folks who
give out the Oscars) and eventually the writers of five of those 323
scripts are each going to win a cash award of $30,000. Wish him luck!
Josh Wagner sold his story "The Apnoeist" to _Not One of Us_
(http://not-one-of-us.com/). He says, "Thanks for this site, and thanks to everyone who offered input!"
| - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Number of members as of 8/20: 660 paying, 88 trial
Number of submissions currently online: 592
Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 77.0%
Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 3.2%
Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 5.09
Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 593.68
Number of submissions in July: 464
Number of reviews in July: 2136
Ratio of reviews/submissions in July: 4.60
Estimated average word count per review in July: 658.26
Number of submissions in August to date: 264
Number of reviews in August to date: 1201
Ratio of reviews/submissions in August to date: 4.55
Estimated average word count per review in August to date: 633.71
Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 55 (9.3% of total subs)
Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 2
Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 14
Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 39
| - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for
submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments,
for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your
submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next
newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and
we'll do the rest.
Until next month -- just write!
The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com
| - - Copyright 2004 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |
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