O | The Online Writing Workshop for SF, F & H Newsletter, October 2006 W | http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com W | Become a better writer! | - - CONTENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | - Workshop News: November writing challenge New Odyssey critique service Membership payment information - Editors' Choices for September 2006 submissions - Reviewer Honor Roll - Publication Announcements - Workshop Statistics - Tips & Feedback | - - WORKSHOP NEWS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | Congratulations this month to the OWWer who won first place in the 2nd Quarter of the Writers of the Future contest! Who is it? You'll have to read the Publication Announcements to find out. Two OWWers in the past four years have been the WotF Grand Prize winners -- John Schoffstall in 2005 and Dylan Otto Krider in 2002 -- and other OWWers, like Brad Beaulieu, have placed high in the contest as well. This is becoming something of a tradition. NOVEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE It was the night before deadline And all through the zoo Not a challenge was stirring From some points of view... This month is a point-of-view challenge. Describe the same event or scene or story from the POVs of three different characters. Bonus points if one of them isn't human. Like, for Americans, telling the story of the first Thanksgiving from the POV of the pilgrims, the Indians, and the turkeys. Each new POV should add something to the reader's perception of the story that the previous POV character didn't see. When all three POVs are finished, the reader should have the whole story that none of the characters have. Remember: These are supposed to be fun, but don't forget to stretch yourself. If you normally write fantasy, try SF. If you've never tried space opera, here's your chance. It doesn't have to be great. It's all about trying new things. There's no word limit, no time limit, no nothin'. Just have fun. :) Please don't post your challenge pieces to the workshop until November 1st. Include "November Challenge" in your title so you can show off how fancy you are to all your friends. For more details on the challenges, check the OWW Writer Space at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=Challenges NEW ODYSSEY CRITIQUE SERVICE The Odyssey Writing Workshop, directed by OWW Resident Editor for Horror Jeanne Cavelos, now offers the Odyssey Critique Service. Since the Odyssey Writing Workshop was established in 1996, requests have poured in from writers unable to attend the intensive, six-week program. People have asked for critiques on their application stories so they can improve them for next year; they've asked to come for part of the workshop; they've asked for a shorter workshop; they've asked to participate in the workshop via the Internet--in short, they've asked for some way to get help with their writing. Workshop director Jeanne Cavelos explains, "The mission of Odyssey is to help developing writers of fantasy, science fiction, and horror improve their work. I've been searching for the best way to extend that help beyond the sixteen people who attend Odyssey each summer. To that end, we've created the Odyssey Critique Service." The Odyssey Critique Service provides authors with professional-level feedback in accordance with Odyssey principles and with the thoroughness and depth for which Odyssey is known. Authors can submit several pieces of their writing. They will receive detailed feedback on each piece, plus an overall assessment of their writing, including strengths and weaknesses that appear repeatedly in their work, and specific suggestions for improving those weak areas. Novelists may submit several chapters or even an entire novel. All submissions are read by critiquers who have graduated from Odyssey and become successful professional writers. They include Carrie Vaughn, Theodora Goss, and Barbara Campbell. A portion of all proceeds from the critique service goes to support Odyssey, to help keep the workshop alive and keep tuition costs down. For more details, visit http://www.odysseyworkshop.org/crit.html, call (603) 673-6234, or e-mail jcavelos@sff.net. MEMBERSHIP PAYMENT INFORMATION How to pay: In the U.S., you can pay by PayPal or send us a check or money order. Outside of the U.S., you can pay via PayPal (though international memberships incur a small set-up fee); pay via Kagi (www.kagi.com--easier for non-U.S. people); send us a check in U.S. dollars drawn on a U.S. bank (many banks can do this for you for a fee); or send us an international money order (available at some banks and some post offices). If none of those options work for you, you can send us U.S. dollars through the mail if you choose, or contact us about barter if you have interesting goods to barter (not services). Scholarship fund and gift memberships: you can give a gift membership for another member; just send us a payment by whatever method you like, noting who the membership is for and specifying whether the gift is anonymous or not. We will acknowledge receipt to you and the member. Or you can donate to our scholarship fund, which we use to fully or partially cover the costs of an initial paying membership for certain active, review-contributing members whose situations do not allow them to pay the full membership fee themselves. Bonus payments: The workshop costs only 94 cents per week, but we know that many members feel that it's worth much more to them. So here's your chance to award us with a bonus on top of your membership fee. For example, is the workshop worth five dollars a month to you? Award us a $11 bonus along with your $49 membership fee. 25% of any bonus payments we receive will go to our support staff, sort of like a tip for good personal service. The rest will be tucked away to lengthen the shoestring that is our budget and keep us running! For more information: Payments: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships.shtml Bonus payments and information about our company: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/bonuspayments.shtml Price comparisons: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/memberships_comparison.shtml | - - EDITORS' CHOICES - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The Editors' Choices are chosen from the submissions from the previous month that show the most potential or otherwise earn the admiration of our Resident Editors. Submissions in four categories -- SF, F, horror, and short stories -- receive a detailed review, meant to be educational for others as well as the author. Reviews are written by our Resident Editors, award-winning authors and instructors Jeanne Cavelos, Karin Lowachee, and Kelly Link, and by experienced science-fiction and fantasy editor Jenni Smith-Gaynor. The last four months of Editors' Choices and their editorial reviews are archived on the workshop. Go to the "Read, Rate, Review" page and click on "Editors' Choices." Congratulations to the current Editors' Choice authors! Editor's Choice, September, Fantasy Chapter/Partial Chapter: THE ORDELIGHT: PROLOGUE AND CHAPTER 1 by Oliver Benedict Townsend Oliver Bendedict Townsend's prologue and chapter one of THE ORDELIGHT is a nice beginning to a classic type of fantasy novel. The fey are at war with humans; they are supernatural and can be fought, but mortal men, women, and children are often at their mercy. I really enjoy this type of fantasy with its folklore influence and larger-than-life characters. I am not fond of prologues that are not ancillary to the opening chapter, and without seeing the whole novel, feel that the first chapter -- with some prudent additions -- is a strong enough hook without the prologue. The first chapter opens with a cursed knight-errant walking through the streets of a burh (a fortified town or hillfort) girding itself against a fey attack. Jem Neele was cursed invisible by a sorceress on one of his adventures thirteen years ago. He had been "the finest knight in Aleon and famous victor of fifty tourneys. He had been beloved of a beauty and favoured of the king" but is now "a broken, poverty-stricken man left with only his sword." He wanders the streets of this burh without aim, and as the ward torches are blown out -- an event that hasn't happened in the time Jem has lived in this particular place -- the fighting men prepare themselves to repel the attack. An old witch has "a few herbs and potions that could bind lesser fey, even bless the local burh," but Jem is not convinced she can do much against a fullscale "feyraid." He can be killed by the fey and takes up the defense hoping his death would bring back some honor. When the goblins attack, he fights and kills some, but the goblins carry cobwebbed weapons. The cobwebs numb the body, and Jem is almost overcome. Drawing upon ancient tales, the witch sings songs to drive back the goblins, but it's not enough. Jem rushes an attacking group and saves the witch, but he and she are unable to save the town. The chapter ends with them hearing the cries of children, who are being taken as slaves for the Goblin King. One of the things I really liked about this first chapter was the setting -- a fortified town readying itself for some unknown attack. I could really see the wind whipping the purple torchlights, but I'd like to feel it or smell it -- what type of wind is able to blowout purple wardtorches? Other details can help the reader ground themselves into the place -- is it a well-build burh or something thrown up in a hurry by peasants? What does the dirt hill actually look like? Is it raw earth or covered in moss, grass, or other greenery? I'd like to see more details of the homes, the people, and Jem himself, especially as a means to place this story in a fictional time. By the use of "burh" and "fyrdsmen" (a peasant militia), I'm assuming this novel is set in medieval times (or based in medieval times), but I don't really see that yet. Make the reader see what the writer sees rather than assuming or guessing. Fantasy novels aren't historical, although they can draw on history. The difference is what the writer uses and how the writer weaves it into the plot and character arcs. Jem is a knight-errant who has been moving from town to town since he was cursed, but I don't see why. Is he searching for a banishment of his curse? If he is invisible to others, why is he penniless? He could just take sustenance and sleep wherever he wants without harm. Clarify this conflict, because I think the isolation can be a great characterization. Townsend writes that Jem feels violent towards a watchman, who turns towards him but doesn't see him -- "It seemed the only way he could channel the frustration bound within him," but in the end, Jem is too much the chivalrous knight to take action. I wanted some more clarification of this -- he obviously feels frustrated by this curse, but he's been invisible for thirteen years. Some spark of hope might kindle once in awhile, but there's no indication Jem would continually leap towards hope again and again. If Jem is to be the main protag, I'd like to see more of his story, feel more empathy or sympathy for his situation. He seems to be an honorable type -- draws his sword to help defend the townspeople from the attacking goblins -- but right now, I'm not connecting with him. The prologue is a nice setup for a history, but not particularly compelling. Weave the details of the land and customs into the story and connect it to the plot -- why should the main protag need to know that during the rains, the farmers come into the burh? What are the burh's guarding? What are they defenses from? I think a lot of this type of information is background for the writer, but unless it connects Jem and the reader to the current action or theme of the novel, I don't feel it's necessary for the opening of this novel. It could be worked in later exposition as the plot unfolds and the overarching plot is revealed. Should Townsend decide to stay with the prologue, there has to be more to it -- I'm not compelled by either the situation or the king's conflict because I don't yet know enough about the place or conflict to feel any sympathy. The details of the lands and custom don't feel vital to me if the king's loss is his third child, a debt repaid. The enchantress who comes to collect the debt is the king's family protector, so is she a threat or merely a supernatural entity who has involved herself with mortals? There are too many questions and not enough groundwork here to create any impact. Instead of the king's debt, what about the ongoing fey attacks? How is the king and his family tied to the fey, or if they are not directly connected, how is the fey attack in chapter one tied to the Rivermistress of the prologue? Overall, this isn't a bad opening. I would strengthen Jem's story and make the reader feel some empathy or sympathy for his situation so that when he decides to sacrifice himself for the strangers of the burh, the reader gets the most impact out of that decision. The pace of the goblin attack is pretty good, and can be stretched out some -- the ending feels abrupt and expected. Work on the witch's character some more -- I don't get a detailed image of her voice and demeanor, how the other people in the burh react to her (could be useful to establish how much this culture values its "cunning-women"). Let's see some more grounding details of the burh itself--the fyrdsmen seem awfully organized in gathering against the attackers and yet those unable to fight still cling to superstitious flowers as protection. How well trained are the fyrdsmen and how much do they know of the fey they're fighting? Really set us down in the middle of this culture and story so we can be swept up in the events. --Jenni Smith-Gaynor Former editor, Del Rey Books Editor's Choice, September, SF Chapter/Partial Chapter: A JOURNAL OF TRUE EVENTS -- CHAPTERS 8 AND 9 by Frank Duff This was another month of fantastic submissions, making it difficult to select just one. But in choosing this month's I was reminded of the potential of speculative fiction, not just in pushing boundaries within actual stories or ideas, but in experimenting with form and voice. It's risky to change things up, whether it's in point of view, structure, characterization. But taking these risks breathes life into new books and makes the genre evolve. Many of us may write space opera, alien encounters, cyberpunk or other familiar derivations within the genre, but just because the tropes may be used time and again doesn't mean there aren't fresh ways of approaching things. So this month I want to emphasize the importance of *originality of approach.* If you write a story about a space battleship in an alien war, does it really need to begin on the bridge with the captain, a scene we have seen a million times both in books and in movies? Be conscious of wanting your story to stand out in some way, to make whoever reads it think to themselves: well this is different (in a good way!). Science fiction is a genre of new ideas, in its broadest sense. Be new -- in plot, story, characterization, structure, point of view or whatever the case may be. Don't make the reader wait to discover what might be different in your book. An editor and some readers won't give you 50 pages to establish yourselves; you have to catch them in the first five. This doesn't mean you bust out the parlor tricks and easy special FX in the hopes it will lure people in for the sugar alone; good storytelling employs more than a single hook. The chapters here (or really, they are one chapter, as chapter 8 is only a couple paragraphs and the author's combined them in one submission) are in the middle of the book, so I can't comment on what came before. But here in the middle of the book I was immediately intrigued. The author's comments give an outline of what is to follow: the SFnal elements are slim but the characters are unique. While I would caution against being *too* slim with the speculative elements (if chapter 9 is the first time something speculative has shown up in the narrative then you might have a problem if you want to submit this to publishers like Tor or DAW), this chapter works well because it lulls you into interesting historical events then surprises you at the end with something weird and wonderful. To immediately answer the author's question of whether the lack of dialogue in Davidson's parts are tedious: no. And in fact they are the most interesting parts of the chapter because the voice and characterizations are so strong. The frame of the book (Isaac's parts) almost distracted from what I view is the meat of the story. I'm not sure overall what ultimate effect this will have and how the sections will be woven together completely, but within this part I found the in-and-out of Isaac's voice and situation somewhat cumbersome. I don't suggest tossing it out, of course, especially if his storyline is essential to understanding the entire book. If on the outside this is a man-reclaiming-his-past type of narrative, then Isaac is of course necessary (and in fact I found chapter 10 to be engaging), but just be careful of structure. Experimental structure should serve the narrative, help to make sense of it, add depth to the story and plot, and perhaps even highlight aspects of the characterizations. There should be more reason for flipping things about than because it's different or cool. The anecdote with Gerald is short but effective; Isaac wants to feel. He says later: "There was a time when I was an active participant in my life." Like a writer stuck in a rut and knowing that in order to be authentic or "find himself" he has to put himself at risk somehow. The image of the saw blade blurring is perfect to end the scene. Beginning the following chapter with "I have just now opened the lower right hand drawer of the desk in search of more typing paper" is offputting. It's a little too self-conscious or obvious, which pulls me out of the narrative. The frame of this being that Isaac is retelling the events in Davidson's journal, as well as his own commentary in the present day, is a slippery slope because the voice threatens to be too intrusive. Be careful that Isaac doesn't draw the diagram of events too clearly, leaving the reader with nothing to piece together in their own mind, or to create their own impressions of things. Isaac's appraisal and play-by-play can also trump the suspense if it's not reined in. At the end of the chapter: "How can I assure you, notional reader, that I am not making this up. These are, if not the words, definitely the units of meaning of my departed uncle. And it gets stranger, let me assure you, much stranger." If this sort of language is used too liberally it can become annoying, like the author is nudge-winking at the reader. Better to show how strange it gets than telegraph it ahead of time. Overall it is handled well in this chapter but in the broader overview of the book it's something to watch. Davidson himself is a compelling character. There are many "unusual" elements to this, unusual only because one doesn't usually pick up an SF novel and find characters of Ojibwe descent, from Ontario Canada, fighting in the North Korean war. Add to that his odd sojourn with the mysterious Gim-Ja and these are the original elements I mentioned in the beginning. While other stories may have some combination of these mentioned elements, it's in the approach that you find the originality and thus the intrigue. The narrative on a line by line basis is accomplished, with a real sense of Voice: Davidson spent the rest of that day in silence. It was clear that his would soon become a war story once again. Davidson's skin was a dark umber and his hair black. But he was over six feet tall, and neither narrow; even from a distance his chances of passing for Korean or Chinese were slim. So his choice was to simply march out into enemy territory (not that the word "enemy" meant a lot to Davidson anymore, but he could only presume that the equivalent word in the appropriate language meant something to those who might find him; or. Or he could wait around to be rescued. "Rescued." Though there is a sense of retelling the events, we are still situated from Davidson's point of view and thus the narrative takes on a definite flavor (as opposed to a whitewash kind of "science fiction" voice that exhibits no color or musicality to the language). This is another way of approaching tropes with originality: let the language be truly used instead of merely plugged in. This chapter employed odd structure that still worked overall, a different sort of protagonist (or two) in increasingly strange circumstances, and a command of language that truly tells the story instead of just delivering it. Though the SFnal elements are slim (but one assumes they become more integral to the story as it progresses), speculative fiction has a broad definition and it's refreshing to read works where the borders are distorted or pushed in some way. --Karin Lowachee Author of BURNDIVE and CAGEBIRD http://www.karinlowachee.com Editor's Choice, September, Short Story: "The Weeping Pool -- Part 1" by Eric Lowe Editor's Choice, Short Story: The Weeping Pool by Eric Lowe In the last year or so, I've become interested in the idea of American fantasy -- that is, fantasy which makes use of particularly American themes, or the American landscape. Good examples of this probably include classic children's novels like Lynn Reid Bank's THE INDIAN IN THE CUPBOARD, Louis Sachar's HOLES, M. T. Anderson's THIRSTY, much of Ray Bradbury or Natalie Babbit's work, or Ysabeau Wilce's forthcoming novel FLORA SEGUNDA. (For movies, think Katherine Bigelow's NEAR DARK, or the various DAWN OF THE DEAD incarnations, or the soon-to-be-released-on-dvd SLITHER.) I was drawn to Eric Lowe's story "The Weeping Pool" for many reasons, but as with the examples above, part of the reason why this story is so engaging is that it uses American history, and an American landscape in a way that I don't often see in genre. (The Texan narrator of Patrica Anthony's fine, haunting WWI novel, FLANDERS, would be another example.) This story succeeds in drawing me in from the eeriness of the opening sentence: "On the night after the cornfield fight, the Devil took upon itself the form of a woman and went out among the dead." And the opening of the next paragraph pulls me in further: "I was standing on the west edge of that corn, watching an orange harvest moon raise its poxy face above the tree line. The damp had come up, and it made my musket barrel sweat and my bum leg ache. And then it got deep into my lungs and made me burst out coughing. Tubercular vapors rise from the earth at night--according to the Sanitary Commission man--and I rasped and hacked so hard I thought for sure I'd caught the consumption. The fit lasted for a good five minutes and when it stopped I felt like I had a week's worth of breathing to catch up on." We have a narrator with a matter-of-fact voice, which makes the reader trust him. It's clear that he's mortal, and vulnerable, and he watches the unnaturally glowing figure of a woman go from body to body, slitting each body open with a knife, and extracting something. The narrator tells us that he has one green eye and one grey. When he covers up his green eye, the woman disappears. And then the woman speaks to him, and the story gets stranger yet -- she appears to know him from another context. She tells him that he's picked a good hiding place, except for the fact that he appears to be going native, and that sooner or later she'll take him back where he belongs. Then he fires at her, and she disappears. The next day, the narrator's regiment is on the march and he tells us that through his green eye he can see a "grim" castle always before his outfit, which he fears more than anything. And as the outfit come up on enemy soldiers, he says "As per usual, my trick eye tried to distract me with all manner of strange sights that no one but me could see." I would like to know whether it seems to him that the invisible castle grows closer, or whether it is always just on the horizon. You could certainly describe some of the "strange sights" in this battle scene, but it's actually a nice touch to let the reader imagine what strangeness the narrator sees -- and the irony, of course, is that what one sees on a battlefield is strange and terrible and unbelievable enough already. The disinterested reactions of the other soldiers to what the narrator may or may not see seems realistic and telling. Overall, the details about the life of soldiers during wartime have the right mix of grim comedy and day-to-day dreariness. Characters say and do things here which feel perfectly natural, given the context, which is highly unnatural. The dialogue is sharp. The overlay of the supernatural against the details of ordinary life makes both seem more believable. As the story progresses, we discover several things -- the Devil is there to protect the narrator. The castle belongs to the narrator by way of inheritance. The narrator's true family is something otherworldly, strange, and bloody. And the narrator, Gimp, is afraid of all of this. We don't yet know why he's hiding, but I have to admit, I'm dying to find out why, and what happens next. I don't have any line edits, and I don't particularly want to make suggestions, either, lest I get in the way of the author. I have a small suspicion that this will make not just an excellent short story, but the opening to a really good novel. I'm curious to see how the larger, so-far-hidden story of the narrator's life and his difficulties reflects on the particular historical events that the writer has chosen as a backdrop. Good luck with this -- and please don't abandon this story or these characters. There's tremendous potential here. One last thing -- a small exercise for those who haven't had much time to start, let alone finish, new stories. The poet Stephen Dobyns, stuck in a hotel with a bad fever, once wrote the opening sentences to 50 short stories. Later on he expanded 25 of those sentences into opening paragraphs. Out of those 25 paragraphs, he got a dozen good short stories. Why not give this exercise a shot and see what you come up with? --Kelly Link Editor of TRAMPOLINE and co-editor of YEAR'S BEST FANTASY & HORROR http://www.kellylink.net/ Editor's Choice, September, Horror: "Instant Message" by William Argyle In this compact story, Kyle befriends an underage girl on the Internet and arranges to meet her. When she sees how old he is, she rejects him, and he kills her. She returns from the dead to haunt him on the Internet and finally to physically confront him. The piece has some nice description, as when Kyle braces "his hands against the sink's rim, leaning on it as a preacher would a pulpit" and when Kyle grabs the girl: "He fancied it resembled a scene from a movie, where the hero grabs the heroine roughly . . . and she gives him a reluctant kiss." This provides a strong image and at the same time conveys Kyle's mindset. While the first few pages move slowly, as Kyle contemplates what he's done, once the story enters the flashback, it moves quickly to the end, with some good suspense. William, you've written a fun horror story. But I'm going to push you to try to do more. The story contains two elements rather common to contemporary horror: the pedophile and haunting via the Internet. I've read many stories with these elements, so there's a danger in using them, since they lose impact the more the reader is familiar with them. The more an element is used, the harder it is to come up with an original way of using it. William, you mentioned that you are a fantasy writer. I think it's great when a writer pushes himself into new terrain. The problem is that you may not be as familiar with what's been done in the horror genre. That's why it's very important for a writer to read widely, to read in all genres, and to read both fiction and nonfiction. Not only does this help you avoid overused elements, it also helps you combine various influences to create something uniquely your own. That said, I'm not aware of a horror story that mixes these two elements (though I'm sure there are a few), so the combination gives you the potential of doing something new. Many great stories have been created by combining familiar elements in a new way. Stephen King combined the haunted house and the psychic child in THE SHINING. He combined, by his own description, THE LORD OF THE RINGS and spaghetti Westerns to create THE DARK TOWER series. Since pedophiles work so much through the Internet, it seems appropriate to combine that element with an Internet haunting. I don't feel you're doing enough with this yet, though. Simply having Kyle and the girl's spirit chat back and forth feels too much like other stories I've read, and having the girl turn up as a corpse in his doorway at the end feels extremely familiar. To combine these two elements in a striking and powerful way, I think you need to delve more deeply into what truly makes pedophilia horrific and what sort of people (both adults and their victims) are drawn into it. I don't think you're really exploring this issue in a new and meaningful way. As is, the pedophilia feels mainly like a motivation to drive the story, a method of getting your plot moving so you can get to the ghostly chat messages and the scary corpse at the end. If you want this story to really stand out and stay with us, I think it needs to be more than that. You might look at Harlan Ellison's "Croatoan," a very memorable story about abortion. Ellison manages to bring new insight to this issue and to the people involved, while at the same time writing a story that completely sucks us in, terrifies us, and doesn't feel at all like it's trying to convey a social message. He uses the fantastic in a striking way, creating an underground world in the sewers where flushed fetuses live. I think you could do much more with your supernatural element than just having the dead girl chat with her killer on the Internet. You might also consider the way King explores the issue of child abuse in THE SHINING, conveying the horror experienced by both the father and the child. I would suggest you cut the framing device, which creates an opening for the story that is too internal and passive, and mainly serves to set up the predictable ending. Then think more about the characters and what they are actually doing to each other through their chatting. I hope this is helpful. Often, when a writer stretches beyond his comfort zone, the results are not as immediately satisfying, and he has to work a lot harder to write a strong piece. But the effort can often yield great rewards, as you expand your range and allow yourself to tackle challenging subjects. --Jeanne Cavelos Editor of THE MANY FACES OF VAN HELSING and author of INVOKING DARKNESS http://www.odysseyworkshop.org | - - REVIEWER HONOR ROLL - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | The Reviewer Honor Roll area of the workshop recognizes members who have given useful, insightful reviews. After all, that's what makes the workshop go, so we want to give great reviewers a little well-earned recognition! If you got a really useful review and would like to add the reviewer to the Reviewer Honor Roll, use our online honor-roll nomination form -- log in and link to it from the bottom of the Reviewer Honor Roll page at http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml. Your nomination will appear on the first day of the next calendar month. The Honor Roll will show all October nominations beginning November 1. Meanwhile, here are two advance highlights from this month: Reviewer: William Argyle Submission: Transcended Chapter 3 by Brad Austin Submitted by: Brad Austin Nominator's Comments: William has a great way of giving you the ideas to really make your story better. He never gives you a half of a critique. Even if the the critique is 10 pages long, he will go through the entire story to help you out. The suggestions he offers are always valid, and you can tell he cares about reading a story he likes. Reviewer: D. Melissa Bowden Submission: ch 8--lily/marassa (pt 2) by cathy freeze Submitted by: cathy freeze Nominator's Comments: Melissa always helps me *see* my characters-- her eye is so clear. also, she manages to make me feel like my story has such worth, which is very helpful. ;) she shows me what others think of my plot, too, so i can watch those naggy little things that i might be doing wrong--things that might steer a careful, clever reader in directions i don't want them going. ;) Reviewers nominated to the honor roll during September include: Randy Baker, Buzz Bloom, kit davis, Ruv Draba (2), Shad Fagerland, Satima Flavell, Elizabeth Porco, and John Tremlett. We congratulate them all for their excellent reviews. All nominations received in September can be still found through October 31 at: http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com/honorroll.shtml | - - PUBLICATION ANNOUNCEMENTS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | We can't announce them if you don't let us know! So drop Charlie a line at support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com whenever you have good news to share. OWW Member Sales and Publications: Brad Beaulieu sold "Cirque du Lumiere" to Tekno Books for their upcoming FELLOWSHIP FANTASTIC anthology, to be published summer of 2007 by DAW. We figured we'd see great things from him when he was won 2nd place in Writers of the Future in 2004. "WoTF?" you ask. "The contest results from the latest quarter are in, aren't they?" Why, yes, yes they are. Read on... Looks like Brandon Barr has been busy this year. His story "At the End of the Time Jump," won first prize in the Christian Fiction Reviewers short story contest. "The Machine Summer" appeared in the December 2005 issue of _Revelation: the Magazine of Apocalyptic Art and Literature_, "Frog Hunting" came out in the June issue of _Nova SF_, and "Mikel's Hope" has just been accepted by _Haruah_. He says: "Thanks to everyone who critted one of my stories. The OWW community has helped my writing beyond where I alone could take it." J. Michael Blumer's THE BOOK OF SECOND CHANCES will be released this month from Windstorm Creative Ltd. Congratulations, Mike! Leah Bobet is on FIRE! Publications this month include: "Deer's Heart,"available in the October-December issue of _Chizine_ (http://www.chizine.com/), "Lost Wax" in the December issue of _Realms of Fantasy_, and "And its Noise as a Noise in a Dream; And its Depths as the Roots of the Sea" is in the Fall 2006 issue of _On Spec_. Two poems were also published this month: "Letters to Papa" in MYTHIC II, an anthology edited by Mike Allen, and "Full Fathom Five" in the Oct. 2 issue of _Strange Horizons_ (http://www.strangehorizons.com/). But that's not all! Recent sales include: "The Delicate Nature of Poisons," a short poem, to _Aoife's Kiss_ and _Fantasy_ accepted TWO of Leah's stories this month: "A Month of Sundays" and "Furnace Room Lullaby," which was a September Editor's Choice. She thanks Elizabeth Bear, David Haseman, Amanda Downum, Gregory Banks, Chris Coen, Liz Bourke, Rayne Hall, Jeremy Yoder, Vylar Kaftan, Tom Marcinko, and the Resident Editors for their collective crits. But wait, there's more! "Building A Taller Chair," which appeared in the March 2005 issue of _Fortean Bureau_, will be reprinted at _Farrago's Wainscot_, a new exhibit-style market set to open in the new year. Congrats, Leah! Aliette de Bodard has big news... *drumroll*... Her workshopped story, "Deer Flight," just sold to _Interzone_. She sends her thanks to Linda Steele, Kaori Praschak, and Jo Anderton. The OWW Secret Spy Network has unearthed undeniable evidence that Stella Evans' story "Everybody's Mother" appears in the current issue of _On Spec_. Yay! Rayne Hall sold "The Cursing Stone" to _Rogue Worlds_ and "Anger Management" to _AlienSkin_. It's been a good year for her, with more than 20 stories sold. She says the trick is to write more, revise more, submit more. Good advice, Rayne. Speaking of Writers of the Future... Kim Jollow's story "Ripping Carovella" took first place in the second quarter. Congratulations, Kim! Karen Kobylarz also has good news. She sold her short story "The Book of Thuti" to _Leading Edge_ for their April 2007 issue. She sends "Thanks to all the workshop members who critiqued it." Rochita Loenen-Ruiz' workshopped story "Borealis" has been accepted for inclusion in PHILIPPINE SPECULATIVE FICTION VOL. 2. She says, "This is my first time to be included in an anthology, and one that will be available in local bookshops back home." She doesn't have her list of reviewers handy, but is thankful to everyone who helped with the story, particularly Calie Voorhis, Arthur Lambiris, and Marshall Payne. Also, another of Rochita's pieces has been accepted for inclusion in the SKIN BYTEBACK book, to be released by Route. Bill McKinley's short story, "An Act of Resistance," which was workshopped in 2003, appears in _Revolution SF_ (http://www.revolutionsf.com/). Yep, you guessed it. Michael Merriam sold another story. His workshopped short "Far From the Fields" will appear in an upcoming issue of _Ray Gun Revival_. He thanks OWW members Becky Kyle, Jo Anderton, Brad Beaulieu, and Karen Swanberg for the crits and suggestions. Yep, you guessed it. Jaime Lee Moyer sold another poem. "Farewell" will appear in issue #4 of _Sybil's Garage_. The OWW Secret Spy Network has learned from a reliable (but undisclosed) source that Marshall Payne's story "A Subtle Thing" appears in Issue 08 of _Ray Gun Revival_. Where are the sales and accomplishments from OWWers whose last names begin with Q-Z? Send 'em in, folks. The Spy Network only reaches so far. | - - WORKSHOP STATISTICS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | Number of members as of 10/19: 591 paying, 38 trial Number of submissions currently online: 391 Percent of submissions with 3 or more reviews: 60.87 % Percent of submissions with zero reviews: 13.3 % Average reviews per submission (all submissions): 4.61 Estimated average review word count (all submissions): 643.54 Number of submissions in September: 230 Number of reviews in September: 789 Ratio of reviews/submissions in September: 3.43 Estimated average word count per review in September: 726.47 Number of submissions in October to date: 126 Number of reviews in October to date: 437 Ratio of reviews/submissions in October to date: 3.47 Estimated average word count per review in October to date: 747.39 Total number of under-reviewed submissions: 98 (25.0%) Number over 3 days old with 0 reviews: 10 Number over 1 week old with under 2 reviews: 36 Number over 2 weeks old with under 3 reviews: 52 | - - FEEDBACK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | Send in your questions on speculative-fiction writing for Kelly Link, and if they're interesting she'll answer them in an upcoming newsletter. Got a helpful tip for your fellow members? A trick or hint for submitting or reviewing, for what to put in your author's comments, for getting good reviews, or for formatting or titling your submission? Share it with us and we'll publish it in the next newsletter. Just send it to support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com and we'll do the rest. Until next month -- just write! The Online Writing Workshop for Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com support@sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com | - - Copyright 2006 Online Writing Workshops - - - - - - - - - - - |
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